Every romantic relationship is constantly on the move - it changes regularly. We bet you have experienced this changeability in your previous romances. Although they didn't work, some of the steps in dating you made were wrong... While everything seemed harmonious a few months ago (you and your girlfriend treated each other very lovingly), suddenly, frustration and arguments appeared on the agenda. Actually, just a trifle could become the trigger for the tension and the follow-up separation.
You might be surprised, but experts are sure: the first four weeks of the relationship are decisive for its future. Namely, these thirty days either create a solid foundation for the happily ever after or destroy it in the bud.
You must agree - when two people are newly in love, they see each other and the world through rose-colored glasses. But at some point, the time of excessively optimistic perception of the partner will be over. Everyday life always finds its way into the hearts of lovebirds. And what both have done during the first relationship month decides whether their love was only a flash in the pan or something more serious.
Yes, these few weeks of a new feeling, marked by excitement and joy, as well as uncertainty and cautious recognition of oneness. When, on the one hand, the heart is beating and the need to open up to the partner overwhelms. And on the other hand, the unwillingness to rush anything stands in the way to complete adoration.
Okay, what is the perfect action plan, then? What should you do during these initial 30 days of romance to ensure success? How long should you wait to make a relationship official? And what about getting physical? Answers to all troubling questions can be found in our detailed guide. So there's no time to lose - read them right now!
Week 1
- What characterizes this phase?
Apparently, one month of dating starts with the first week. This is the precise moment when you and your girlfriend have just found each other. It's the phase of absolute infatuation (which brings both partners into an utterly euphoric state).
Neither you nor your woman wants to spend even a second without the special one. So you can't wait to meet and shower each other with attention. One glance at the new crush is enough to get immensely excited.
During this phase, you will clearly smile a lot - without even realizing you do this. It doesn't mean you are crazy, though: chemical reactions put your brain in high spirits. Scientists have found, in the initial steps of dating, the serotonin level in people is on the upper level (it can be compared to what those with obsessive-compulsive disorders experience). In addition, the same brain areas are active by cocaine consumers. At the same time, the happiness hormone dopamine is actively released. So if you are restless, delighted, energetic, and completely obsessed with your new lady - don't worry: it's love!
What is a bit dangerous at this stage? Thanks to the rose-colored glasses, you see your partner in an idealized way. Mistakes? She never makes a single. Weaknesses? This word is not about her. Unfortunately, hormones prevent you from seeing the girl realistically.
Yes, it will pass, and that is normal. Nevertheless, what comes after this exciting period is fantastic and no less important.
- What should you do?
- Do not let yourself fall in love too quickly.
Falling in love too fast is one of the most common mistakes when starting a new relationship. So calm yourself down - after all, forewarned is forearmed. You now have a chance to give serious thought to how you will cope with feelings that are affecting you.
Let's examine the subject clearly. You've only been dating for a week. Why are you already head over heels in love with her? Maybe you should step back and look at the situation a little more objectively? Above all, it is crucial to know whether your girl feels the same way and means it as seriously as you do. That's what will prevent you from being disappointed.
- No terror by telephone!
When dating someone new, many misunderstandings arise around the communication subject. When the phone doesn't ring - you probably feel disturbed. You take it in your hands, stare at it for hours, and wait. Until you almost burst. Then, most likely, you decide to take the initiative since a short phone call can't hurt. Only one. Promised!
If you then fall into her voicemail - you, of course, leave a sugar-sweet message and hope to hear from your lady very soon. But, obviously, you can't wait another minute. You call, and call, and call... It's a horrible idea, though. Keep a cool head - it's okay if she doesn't ring you back within a millisecond. Your crush has her life - let her live it! A text message is enough to let your girl know you think of her. Everything else seems hysterical and damages the relationship.
- Leave room for the freedom of your partner
All early dating tips include this one because the temptation to make this mistake is too strong. Under no circumstances try to steal the freedom your lady needs!
Often it starts just with little things when you slightly manipulate your crush. For example, it may be rolling your eyes every time she decides to do yoga after work instead of directly going on a date with you. The reason you do this is actually very legitimate: you want to spend more time with your sweetheart. Still, personal space is crucial - do not neglect it.
By the way, this advice goes for you too. Don't you have your own hobbies and tasks?
Week 2
- What characterizes this phase?
When looking for love, everyone tries to find a soulmate. It must be someone who matches all expectations this person has. But what does it mean? Of course, initially, you pay attention to the woman's attractiveness. Her hair color, height, body parameters, and even perfume play an important role. Still, beauty alone is like a drop in the ocean, by and large. The partner's intelligence and common interests are no less crucial, especially in the long run. And these are the highlights of the second week of a relationship. Thus, in the dating stages timeline, the second phase is, in our opinion, the most informative one. We call it The Big Understanding.
What do you do during this stage? You and your lady get to know each other better and better. You have evening-long conversations in which you reveal every tiny detail about yourself and listen to your sweetheart with great interest. At this moment, everything is on the table: previous relationships, family, work... In fact, according to experts, you might never be as open and honest in your romance ever again as you are now.
Dating for 1-month fires up the emotions hidden deep inside you. It is all thanks to hormones. Although, in the second week, oxytocin and vasopressin replace dopamine and serotonin. They are intended to bond you and your crush, giving you calmness and security. The idea of permanently binding yourselves to this person matures in your brain. That's why the typical sentence for this phase is: "Yes, I understand."
- What should you do?
- Become aware of similarities and equal values with your woman.
Everyone has something held close to their hearts, the things they value very much. For example, for some: punctuality, freedom, and trust play an important role. While for others, such qualities as a sense of humor, kindness, and loyalty are crucial. You read this suggestion among tips for dating someone new because that's what you should do in the second relationship weeks. Simply put - you must develop shared values for your couple. How does it work, then?
Above all, your own awareness of the matters which are significant for you personally is necessary. It is a good idea to create a small list in which you put the five to ten values and assign each one a place. The same task must be done by your lady. Once this step has been taken, you can compare the results. Did you write down similar points? Is there something particularly vital to you that your crush has not mentioned? Tell her! Maybe there is something she can tell you too.
Needless to say, you can create your own method if the above-mentioned one doesn't seem acceptable.
- Be honest
Every time starting a relationship, you should remember that honesty is critical. So even if you want to please your new partner, be sincere about what you like (along with what you can't stand).
Let us give you a simple example. Each time you spend a night together, your woman makes you bacon and eggs in the morning. But you find this dish horrible and prefer pancakes with blueberries. If you don't give your genuine opinion now, you'll get the breakfast you hate from her for the rest of your life.
The same goes for the situation - when your girl wants to stay with you at night - while you really need this time to yourself. Or when you want absolutely different things in sex than she does. Speak your mind, dear friend! Otherwise, it will only get more complicated later. Take a quiet moment to find the right words and not hurt her feelings.
- Do not compare every tiny nuance with your previous relationships
1 month of dating usually appears trouble-free. However, there is another typical mistake many males and females repeatedly make. Yes, we are talking about comparing a new romance to what you had with your ex-partner. Apparently: this constant search for similarities to something already in the past isn't good for fresh feelings.
Of course, a comparison offers the opportunity to check whether things are going better in the new relationship than in the previous one and whether the new partner suits you well or even better. The whole process gives you new energy (although only in case you made a better choice). For instance, if you state that communication with the new girlfriend goes smoother and you two can resolve insignificant discrepancies much more purposefully - this is a pleasant contrast.
Still, if you compare every little thing with what you had with the former girlfriend - this dating month will also become the last one. The point is your new crush is just different. She has her appearance traits, character, and past. Your job is to praise her uniqueness since the inability to do this means you are not over your ex yet...
Week 3
- What characterizes this phase?
After two weeks of romantic euphoria, every couple enters the third one of the dating steps to a relationship. The infatuation is slightly weakened at this point. After all nights of talking and cuddling, it feels good to get a good night's sleep and take care of your own life again. You and your lady start noticing (with astonishment) not only your strengths. It becomes clear that Prince Charming and Dream Woman also have weaknesses. A first disillusionment sets in. That's the time when the partner may be criticized. Still, it's crucial not to cross the line and blame the special one for being a human.
The desire for total possession of the partner should have weakened by now. So if you still see it in your girl or yourself - be careful. This is an indication of personal insecurity and probably hints at abuse. Fear of loss could also play a role, though.
Anyway, if you wonder how many dates before making it official should take place - we have the answer. Do not count rendezvous - try to survive the third week of a relationship. The fact remains - many lovebirds aren't ready to see their matches without rose-colored glasses.
- What should you do?
- Accept your partner.
Dating for one month or two years - doesn't matter because this tip works. The basis of any healthy relationship is that you and your lady accept each other for who you are. The third week of a relationship is perfect for realizing - it doesn't make sense to change the one you like a lot.
You are a vegetarian, but your girlfriend eats meat daily - fine. You don't like her clothing style and, therefore, buy her new dresses - not good. If certain nuances are a big deal for you - ask yourself again honestly why you are falling in love with this person.
Understand us right: we don't suggest you avoid actual conflicts. Ask yourself why you want to make your woman "better." On the one hand, attempts to change the girl's characteristics more or less subtly are usually unsuccessful. On the other hand, it is not a healthy basis for a relationship. Remember: when people feel someone is trying to bend them, they are more likely to flee. And you also want your partner to love you the way you are, right?
- No pressure
In a happy and healthy relationship, you can express your deepest desires, needs, and ideas (at any time without worry). Still, it doesn't seem possible if you subconsciously feel a certain pressure on your partner's side. Why do we highlight this point - when describing the initial steps to dating your dream woman? Because this is what you should do from the beginning.
Sure, sometimes you wish you could hear your girl's decision now or that she would finally behave the way you want it. Anyway, if you act like this - your lady feels uncomfortable. And, supposing you continue putting pressure on her - the result you get will be the opposite of your expectations.
Thus, for example, if you like to know whether your fondness is mutual, then you can formulate this as a wish and say it so openly to your partner that you would be happy to hear a clear message from her. This doesn't put her under pressure but shows that you care about this matter and all you want is an answer.
- Make compromises
Everyone has different views, intents, and purposes. After all, when two people in a couple have just fallen in love, notwithstanding their powerful attraction, both remain independent personalities – and not Siamese twins. Therefore, the answer to the question of how long dating before a relationship requires compromises is apparent. From the first day of a romance, if you disagree, meet in the middle. Learn to approach each other. Avoid saying no too quickly when you see the situation differently. It is better to make a counter-proposal in this case. The point is - the solution must seem fair for both parties.
Does it mean you must choose compromises even if you are forced upon? Of course not! Letting your partner manipulate you is definitely unhealthy.
Week 4
- What characterizes this phase?
If it is already your fourth week of a new relationship - congratulations! This is a whole one month of dating! When entering this phase, you know exactly how you and your woman tick. After the successful third week, you have learned to accept each other and make compromises. Now - your couple's energy doesn't go into the fight because it brings nothing. As a rule, your inner power at this point is used for two tasks:
- Taking off the rest of the masks, recognizing that strategies based on fakeness don't work. At the same time, not forgetting about self-development to become a better version of yourself.
- Finding common ground with your partner (with long-term prospects), balancing the personal space and dates.
While the first stage of the relationship progress stands for merging with each other and doing everything together - this one is a bit more individual. It is crucial to realize that everyone has to take responsibility for themselves and their happiness. Although we don't want to say that the partner should be neglected. Rather the opposite - during the fourth dating week, you have a chance to get to know many hidden sides of your girl and yourself. Each partner is independent, yet both belong together - isn't it fascinating?
This phase is challenging and exhilarating. The more you discover about each other - the stronger the relationship becomes. Of course, it takes even more courage and openness to keep showing yourself as you are. Still, if you do everything right - the trust will grow, just like roots that anchor a tree more firmly to the earth.
- What should you do?
- Stop counting on a plan B.
If you didn't understand our subtle hint - let us speak the plain language now. To continue using Tinder and Co. is one of the biggest mistakes you can currently make.
Yes, we understand you. Scrolling through the profiles on matchmaking apps is a pleasant pastime. Moreover, it's addictive! But experts, when talking about new relationships advice, are sure that if you decide to go public as a couple, you should put your dating games days behind you. Because nothing would be more confusing than being asked about it by friends or having to justify yourself to your partner.
- No hurry with the introduction to family and friends
You have only 1 month of dating this woman behind you - but you are already planning to introduce her to your family and friends. Is that the right decision? Well, the expert answers are usually controversial here.
We can understand your emotions, though. As in love as you are, you want to hug the whole world right now and show your new crush to your loved ones sooner rather than later. Still, such meetings with relatives and mates often carry a lot of uncertainties and are exhausting. Actually, it's true for all parties.
Thus, we guess - the best option is to give your new partner time to get to know your closest circle little by little. No one needs unnecessary stress...
- Stand by your desires, but don't be rigid
Yes: you can share your wishes, goals, and ideas right from the start. However, one of the tips for a new relationship says you must be careful with these subjects. Planning years into the future at this point can be unsettling for both of you. Give each other space to explore your desires and formulate them clearly. Stand by them, but address issues such as family planning or the longing to get married in an appropriate setting.
Begin with clarifying for yourselves what you both imagine for the future. When one person never wants to have children, but the other does - that becomes a tricky subject. Hoping that your partner will change or bend to your wishes - makes a relationship of equals difficult and rarely works.
Our suggestion in this regard is apparent. If you want something - don't make a secret of it, but don't say it's a big deal either. In case you and your new girlfriend don't match in serious matters - don't worry. There are thousands of singles in the world - you will undoubtedly find someone who wants the same thing you do!
