Every breakup is an emotional challenge and, as a result, difficult to deal with. It's hard to disagree: ending a romantic relationship with someone you still love is far from painless - this can break even the strongest hearts... How can you readily let go of the person you shared your life with and planned to grow old together?
When suddenly your beloved one disappears, accepting this fact as if it's a piece of cake seems impossible. You don't know how to deal with the feelings left inside you. So you probably spend your days decoding your ex-girlfriend's signals of interest or signs she is seeing someone else. Is there a glimmer of hope in the whole thing?
Although moving on is always bitter, including accepting that all of your dreams and hopes that connected you to that woman disappeared - there is something that hurts even more. It appears a personal catastrophe to admit to yourself that everything is over. And, most likely, that's the period you are going through right now: you must have realized your ex might be really over you. Are we right? Is that the case for you?
Above all, we are very sorry you have to go through this. Still, let's face it: whatever the reason for the breakup was, deep inside, you believe in the best. In all likelihood, you even have thoughts that everything will settle down soon and the way to get on with your lady will be found. But is that really so?
Do you still wish for your ex to come back into your life one day, notwithstanding all problems in your relationship? Well, that's your prerogative. The only thing we can do on our side is to give you the list of signs she doesn't care about you anymore. After that, when you finally see the situation objectively, we will suggest what to do next to make you feel better. Okay, shall we begin?
Signs she has moved on
Did you already have a clarifying conversation with your former girlfriend? If not, and you are still unsure how she feels about you - there might be a reason to believe your ex is not over you yet. And even if you have talked and it turns out that getting back together is no longer an option - no one has canceled the desire to hope. Anyway - it could be a relief to find out where you stand. Without this knowledge, it can be exceptionally difficult to face the truth and, perhaps, move forward from now on.
Once love clouds our minds, we tend to misinterpret or maybe even twist other people's behavior. Thus, getting a view from the side is necessary. Check the following signs she is not into you anymore to figure out the real state of things.
Sign #1. She ignores all your communication attempts
The fact that your woman stopped communicating with you ever since you broke up is the most obvious clue that she will never reappear in your life. Especially if she also avoids all kinds of contact that you initiate.
Sure, let's examine the situation together. Seeming annoying or needy is the last thing you want to be. But the truth is, you've tried calling and texting your ex a few times after the separation. Whether your idea was to invite her to hang out as friends or you were honest about your feelings - the point remains. You have never managed to get a positive answer from her...
We know you keep justifying your girl's behavior by saying - she is afraid of what might happen if she gets close to you again. That you keep fooling yourself that this is nothing more than a good indication that she still has a strong attraction to you and her attempts to run away from the temptation.
While there is a slight chance your ideas are true, there's a high probability it's among the signs she doesn't miss you. No matter how mentally and emotionally mature this lady is - if she still loves you as much as you do, she would have agreed to meet sooner or later. Moreover, in case she is into you (which, to be honest, is pretty unlikely), this woman has decided to never get back together with you. So better accept it.
Sign #2. She cut you out of her life
Aside from avoiding all forms of communication, one of the indications your lady is totally over you is - she cut all possible ties with you.
We hate being those who have to tell you this - but the fact is more than apparent. Your ex-girlfriend has left you in the past and has no intention of letting you be a part of her present or future life. She may have changed her phone number, blocked you on all her social media accounts, stopped going to the places she knows you might meet or even moved to another city. The idea is the same - she erased you entirely.
Don't get us wrong - this doesn't have to mean that your former lover made these drastic changes in her life only to avoid you. Of course, we hope you weren't stalking that woman.
That's probably the last thing you want to hear, but this is also among the signs she has moved on to someone else. So she wants to live her life as if you were never a part of it and, as a result, you never meant anything to her.
Sign #3. She gave you all your stuff back
When you still have strong feelings for someone who doesn't want to be a part of your life anymore, you hold on to the memories the two of you have together. You keep her belongings in your house, listen to the songs that remind you of her, and have a hard time deleting shared photos from your Facebook page. At the same time, having each other's stuff or intentionally forgetting something with your ex-partner can be an ideal excuse to meet again. This is precisely why many couples consciously refuse to take this step (of giving each other their possessions back). Thinking that as long as they have something from their beloved ones, there is still a chance of getting back together.
This is not your case, though. Your woman, on the contrary, is the one who gave you back all your stuff and asked for her things. And no, she didn't do it in a moment of anger or revenge, throwing objects at you while you were both arguing. Instead, after some time had passed from your breakup, she politely called or texted you. She told you that your belongings were packed up and asked you to do the same with her things.
Sorry, that's not an excuse that your ex was trying to get at you in any way. If that's what happened, it's among clear signs she doesn't want a relationship with you anymore. She allows herself to write a new chapter in her life, and nothing holds her back.
Sign #4. She avoids your friends and family members
Let us assume you were in a relationship with this lady for a while - so things got pretty serious between you two. It is, therefore, expected that both have met each other's mates and family members and even become friends with them.
However, ever since your romance ended, your ex-girlfriend has disappeared not only from your life. She has also cut down contact with people from your social circle. And it's not that she became rude overnight or that your woman told them she doesn't want to stay in touch with them anymore. Her behavior is about avoiding communication - so mutual friends think they did something wrong.
Why do we believe it's one of the signs she's over you? Because this girl doesn't want to be associated with anyone who reminds her of you and the past relationship. Also, she doesn't want to put herself in an awkward situation where you might think she's stealing your buddies. At the same time, your ex doesn't want to be overwhelmed with questions about your relationship and breakup or attempts to get the two of you back together again. And, most importantly, she dodges the situation of accidentally bumping into you.
Of course, maintaining a close relationship with your loved ones could be a free ticket back into your life - still, we guess - it's the last thing she wants.
Sign #5. She demonstrates no signs of jealousy
When a woman has feelings for you - she can't stand to see you with another girl, even if you have decided to break up.
Although your ex-girlfriend takes you for granted and doesn't want to date you right now, the moment she feels threatened and sees she could lose you - she won't be able to control her jealousy. This will make her do everything to win you back. Surely you should never settle for that, but if nothing else, in this case, your ex will try to prove to herself that she still has a special place in your heart and that she can have you whenever she wants.
How to know if she has moved on, then? Exactly: if your lady doesn't show any signs of jealousy. She has even seen you surrounded by other girls, or someone has told her you are dating someone new - unfortunately, with no feedback.
Your woman is not trying to stop from new relationships - she doesn't care if you moved on. Her desires are far from competing with other females or pushing them away from you. Undoubtedly, she has rationally accepted your breakup and also wants someone else in her life...
Sign #6. Her social media posts have nothing to do with you
Do you know what it's like when you feel lost and can't help but post sad songs on your social media accounts when your heart is broken? You might not want to admit it, still - many men and women believe there is a need to share their thoughts and emotions on Facebook or Twitter. And it's not unlikely that the followers will get a glimpse of how the author feels through their posts.
Does your ex-girlfriend do anything similar? These are not necessarily romantic quotes or pictures (that precisely beg you to come back). She has to leave a clue, though.
When a lady is hurt, she is likely to post a song that only means something to you two or a sweet quote that indirectly describes her mental and emotional state while trying to maintain her dignity. She could use this tactic to get inside your head and make you ask yourself if there is something you can do.
Through social networks, without doing anything concrete, a girl wants to remind you that you still exist in her thoughts. Because let's be honest - she is more than aware that you watch her profile from time to time.
Nonetheless, it seems your ex doesn't do anything mentioned above. Thus, it's one of the signs she moved on with someone else.
Sign #7. She doesn't respond to your flirting signals
Let's face it - whenever you hang out with this girl or chat with her: you're trying to impress her. You try hard to look as attractive as possible to remind her what she has lost, not forgetting to mention some fun and meaningful facts about your relationship.
However, your ex-girlfriend doesn't seem to fall into your trap since she totally ignores your flirting signals and doesn't give the reaction you expect. Even her body language says that she no longer has feelings for you! So when you are talking, she is not standing next to you - nor is your woman taking any opportunity to touch or be close to you. She is not trying to make you laugh and doesn't notice changes in your appearance...
Instead, your ex tries to keep everything formal without giving any hints or clues that she still sees you as an object of her affection or that there is a possibility that the two of you might ever get back together. Do you still wonder how to know if she moved on?
Dear friend, we know you're probably trying to read between the lines and analyze every look or smile you get from her. But listen to your intuition: there is no chemistry between you two anymore.
Sign #8. She never made an effort to win you back
Try to start considering the situation realistically, disregarding the feelings you still have for your ex. Whether she blocks you or not - your woman has never given you a clue to believe that she wants to rekindle the relationship. And that non-contact phase has been going on for a while. It's not that she didn't say out loud that she wanted you back - she never tried to win you back.
How to know she moved on in this case? Apparently: you broke up not a week ago, so it's not like she is still angry or hurt by the whole thing. She had enough time to get her head straight.
We suppose this pill is hard to swallow, but you must understand a couple of simple things: when a lady wants you - nothing can stop her from chasing you. Her efforts are a reflection of her feelings for you, so if she doesn't try to come back, that's one of the signs she'll never do this. Everything else is nonsense.
Sign #9. She stops mentioning your time together
If she is not over you and still has feelings for you - she will often unpack old memories about you and her. It includes fun chats about your happy times together. Your lady will want to go back in time and undo any mistakes you and she made (no matter how unrealistic it seems).
However, once your ex-girlfriend has managed to come to terms with your breakup - she won't say a word about your time together as a couple. Unless it's something negative or related to fatal mistakes made during your romance.
Thus, if she completely ignores your good times and even conceals or denies them, that is a signal that she no longer wants to be with you. In fact, some experts see this one among signs she is seeing someone else…
Sign #10. She found a new boyfriend
How do you know she moved on, you ask? One of the surest indications she will never come back is her decision to start a relationship with someone else, and things seem to be getting serious. Because if your ex found a new boyfriend, that's a hint she's probably forgotten about you entirely.
When a girl goes on dates with different guys - it's a clear symptom of her emotional instability and a cue that she's repressing her feelings. Although that's not your ex-girlfriend's behavior. Instead, it looks like she is interested in only one man.
The worst part is that we're not describing a rebound relationship here. Your girl hasn't begun a long-distance romance or found someone new to make you jealous. She also hasn't asked a colleague to pretend to be her boyfriend (just to get your reaction).
It's one of the signs she is over you since your lady is not rubbing this new affair in your face. No, she doesn't hide him, but letting you know who he is - is not on her priority list either. This woman is more than willing to build a future with another guy - she is obviously ready for a fresh start.
What to do if you want her back?
Suddenly everything was over. All those beautiful years of mutual love, full of affection nights, and absolute trust ended in nothing. Especially if these are events of the recent past - it is wholly understandable that you want to win your ex-girlfriend back! After all, you two still have enough shared memories and pleasant moments for a long and happy future together.
You already know the main signs she has moved on. Do you still want to change the situation to your advantage? We can help you, then!
Before we start sharing our tips, remember: your dream isn't doomed to fail. The strategy shared below will ensure the best possible results.
#1. Keep calm
Maintaining your dignity and self-confidence is very important when communicating with your ex. Especially if some signs she's not into you are apparent.
For example, many guys fall into this trap. After a night in a bar with mates and too many drinks, they suddenly send their former lovers texts or voice messages in which they confess their love. However, precisely in these moments of weakness, it's crucial to remain calm! Do not act rashly, and don't lavish with extravagant manifestations of your feelings.
Crawling on your knees to beg for another chance while forgetting your pride is proved counterproductive. Since if you neglect yourself and make yourself small just to get a woman back - you achieve the opposite result.
Psychological studies confirm our words. Your serenity and self-esteem have a direct impact on your attractiveness! Meantime emotional outbursts can't become a part of the successful dating strategy.
#2. Respect the pause in communication
Paradoxically, distance creates more closeness than you might initially think. Yes: you can win your ex back by respecting the pause in communication! Just allow your woman this break from contact and let old wounds heal. That's the point when doing nothing - you give her an opportunity to miss you in the first place. Perhaps she would even feel a hint of fear of loss, so the urge to call or text you becomes overwhelming.
What should you do at this time? Use the pause to reflect on your relationship. For example, start regularly writing your thoughts, feelings, and lessons learned from the breakup in your notebook. Also, you can write a message as follows despite a pause in contact (so your ex-girlfriend doesn't forget you completely): "I agree with you. We shouldn't write messages or talk on the phone regularly like we used to. Although my wish for us in the future is that we become friends."
Remember, the loss of contact can last up to six months! Therefore, do not see this as one of the signs she doesn't like you anymore.
#3. Invest in yourself
This is probably one of the most crucial tips. Before you win your girlfriend back - do your best to restore your essence and self-worth. Moreover, invest in yourself to become a better person: not for your ex, but for you!
The motto of this period may sound like this: use the relationship break to refind yourself. Because without your own transformation - nothing will change in the romance dynamic either.
Ask yourself this radically honest question: what do I want in life? Do I indeed see my future with my ex? Since the more self-confidence and self-love you develop - the more likely you are to avoid a toxic relationship.
Are you afraid to notice signs she doesn't care about you anymore? Then maybe now is the right time to leave old behavioral patterns behind you with the help of professional coaching.
#4. Contact your ex at the right time
When is the right time to contact your ex-girlfriend again if you see no signs she is talking to someone else? The absolutely correct answer should be personalized by a concrete situation, so we will give general recommendations here.
Do you recall the time you broke up? Your image in her mind hasn't changed from this moment. She remembers you as a needy, sad, and weak person. That's why you need some distance at the initial stages. After the pause in contact, your ex-partner will probably ask how you are doing, and she must be surprised by your zest for life! That will make you very attractive and form an ideal basis for getting in touch again. You can use the following templates for a message to your lady:
- When something reminds you of her
Hey! I just watched season 2 of [insert the show you watched together]. That totally reminded me of you. And I realized that I was happy and had a smile on my face.
- When you want to bring her back the shared memories
Hey, I'm just remembering how we got our diving license together. You know what? So thankful we did this jointly.
- When you want to show her that you are doing well
Hey, I'm flying to Hawaii at the end of the month. Since you've been there, I thought I'd ask you for some tips.
Of course, you should adapt the templates to your individual circumstances.
The subtext, however, remains the same: be positive, have fun, and don't appear needy.
If you ask your ex to meet up, keep it as "neutral" as possible, and don't call it a date. In a personal meeting, you will be able to act much more intuitively because you can gauge your woman's reaction.
#5. Transform your relationship
You have reflected on the relationship, feel emotionally freer, happier, and in contact with your ex-partner again - and now what? How can you save your romance when you notice certain signs she is not into you?
Before you officially start dating again, we recommend something like a trial period. For example, you can spend a weekend together or invite your girl on a short trip. After that, you should honestly answer the following questions:
- Can you overcome your old relationship patterns?
- Can you find a new way of communication?
- Did you actually change during the pause in contact?
- Do you have a similar vision for the future?
- What is the most important thing for you in a relationship?
If you can answer these questions satisfactorily for yourself, there is a good chance that you can transform your romance with your ex. Forgiving and tolerating each other is also essential to begin a new life.
How to forget about her?
Everyone knows that a breakup is always difficult and painful. After all, the final conversation with your lady does not mean that your heart can cope with the situation - on the contrary!
Traditional ways to finally find happiness after a breakup often are a new apartment or city. Especially when seeing her with someone else seems catastrophic - radical methods come into play. But all these things are (by no means) a guarantee to banish this woman from your head and heart...
So that you can finally look forward again, try these unusual ways to say goodbye to the pain of separation!
#1. Let yourself be genuinely sad for the last time
"I already feel miserable after reading the signs - ex has moved on. Do you want to make the whole thing even worse?" - that's what you might think now. But we don't want to hurt you - no matter how strange it sounds, that's the trick.
Take a day or evening all to yourself and mourn. Remind yourself of the good times, resent the wrongs, and regret the breakup. You can also scroll through photos and videos with your ex-girlfriend or listen to the music you two loved without a guilty conscience. The point is: to promise to let all your emotions out one last time. It happens automatically - when you reflect on yourself, the breakup, and your future in a new way. After a few hours, you will finally feel the inner freedom.
#2. Write a list of your ex-partner's bad qualities
At this point, you ought to let your hidden aggression out. Not physically, although that would certainly help in the form of sport. We suggest you take a piece of paper instead.
After a recent breakup, you see almost exclusively the great qualities of your ex. Has she moved on, though? It's a perfect moment to recall all the nasty sides of your woman's character that annoyed you during the relationship. So write down everything you can think of, even the trivial things! You can update the list again and again, by the way. Most importantly, reread it when you realize you're about to fall into a hole again. This will strengthen you and reduce your grief over time.
#3. Be there for others
There is no need to do it to impress your ex! When a woman is done with a relationship - she won't care about such things. Do this for yourself since the best way to get out of your own grief cycle is to help others.
What might sound a bit far-fetched really works. Because supporting someone else in a tricky, sad situation is a kind of self-therapy. While you give the person a helping hand and advise them, the view of your situation changes automatically! There are many opportunities to do this, such as volunteering and charity work. Just look around: we can bet there is an animal shelter or WCK office in your city.
#4. Get back to dating
No: we don't want you to take the first lady you can find and become her boyfriend. Just enjoy the enormous number of opportunities the modern world of dating offers. Yes, that sounds unusual, but it should help!
Experts advise paying special attention to matchmaking platforms. Such services are mainly specialized for mail-order brides from around the globe. The fact these ladies live far away from you suggests you may have fun chatting and feel delighted by the attention of Asian, Latina, or Slavic hotties! You can meet your favorites when ready for the next step - no one will speed things up. It's particularly beneficial if the breakup is still nagging you.
#5. Enjoy your new life
Of course, in the first few days or (even weeks) after the separation, you can indulge in your sorrows properly. After that, however, you should get back into life! When she moved on - you can do this too!
Do something nice. Go out more often, read a good book or travel. You ought to try to enjoy that you don't have to be considerate of anyone and answer to nobody.
Do something you've wanted to do for a long time. It should always be about something that gives you pleasure. And if you don't have the financial means to do this, look for affordable alternatives (guaranteed there are).
Just open your eyes to the wonderful new single life!
