In the days of our great-grandparents, the person's marital status was relatively easy to understand. In fact, there were three options: single, taken, or married. Nowadays, there exist endless variations in between - mingle, friends with benefits, open relationships, polyamory, etc. It's almost impossible to figure out what all these terms mean without a comprehensive guide! Anyway, it's not for nothing that many modern men and women answer the question about their current marital status with an awkward smile and no less uncomfortable wording. It's complicated, they say.
But why is it actually such a tricky issue? What makes the matters of romance seemingly more challenging than ever before?
It is discouraging how today's singles are confronted with an apparent oversupply of potential partners. In particular, those - who use dating apps often have difficulties stopping the search. Why does someone need to get serious in a relationship when better alternatives can always be found? Yes - the confusion is almost unavoidable here. Thus, the point is: do you keep swiping, or do you decide to delete the app and dig deeper into one person?
When choosing the second option, sooner or later, in every romance - the question of where you two actually stand arises. Are the feelings and motives sufficient to call it a committed relationship? Or, perhaps, it's better to end the whole thing because you don't get what you want? Next come thoughts about the expectations, goals, and shared interests...
So, when is a relationship considered serious? There is an intriguing survey in this respect.
Of course, the researchers don't want to deny that you and your girlfriend should decide how committed you are. Nevertheless, it is interesting to see how men and women statistically react when it comes to the question of dating. The participants were allowed to be involved in the study solely if they felt they were in a serious relationship.
For both males and females, half of those surveyed stated, "You can just feel it." At the same time, for guys, indicators such as the first kiss, sex, and making a love confession are crucial to make the status upgrade. For women, introducing themselves to friends or parents and agreeing on exclusivity was the starting signal for a stable relationship.
In addition to the signs highlighted above, there are other signs that hint you have something more than just an affair. Here are 15 manifestations that ought to clarify everything:
Sign #1. You pay attention to details
When you (just like your special lady) focus on little things and pay attention to details in conversations - it is one of the signs the relationship is getting serious. It's an ideal declaration that you are interested in each other and that your romance is more than an affair. Why would someone who plans to disappear in a few weeks give so much effort?
A partner interested in establishing a deeper connection will ask you about things you mention casually - not merely to let you know she is listening. Here are some examples of details your woman might remember:
Last time on a date, you said which Netflix masterworks you wanted to watch. The next time you meet, she chooses one from them and arranges a series marathon.
Your girl buys your favorite chocolate, notwithstanding she hates the bitter one.
She asks you about your brother's new job project.
Do you do something similar? Congratulations! You two actually cherish and appreciate each other. What could be a better basis for a healthy relationship?
Sign #2. You accept each other's quirks
We all are unique. It concerns all personality aspects: way of thinking, reacting to events, approaching problems, and behaving in casual situations. Simply said: even your best soulmate will inevitably do something differently than you, your parents, or your ex-partner. And this does not mean that you need to try to change it.
Sometimes it is worth putting yourself in your woman's shoes to understand what is crucial to her. It might seem insignificant to you, so what? Basically, the more eccentric traits your girlfriend has - the more acceptance she needs. Do you remember how many conventions Amy Farrah Fowler had to comply with to be in a couple with Sheldon Cooper? On the other hand, your own freaky qualities have the right to exist - she ought to tolerate them.
How to tell if a relationship is getting serious, then? Easy - everything we just expressed is a matter of course in your romance.
Sign #3. Distinct interests do not irritate you
The same hobbies of the partners - are often cited as one of the signs a relationship is serious. Among the experts, it is commonly seen as an indication of genuine intimacy. This is not always the case, though. The point is your attitude towards the fact you and your girlfriend may not be absolutely similar in matters of hobbies and interests.
If your beloved one is busy doing something with other people, and you are totally calm because of it - this is a gesture of mutual trust. The same goes for your wellness preferences. In other words, if you tried to engage your lady in your favorite pastime activities, but it didn't work out - fine. If you treated her no with respect, your romance is moving in the direction of commitment.
Sign #4. You don't have fundamental disagreements
As you already know, personal quirks and dissimilar interests are not a problem. Still, fundamental disagreements can become a stumbling block even for the happiest couple. They may relate to the place of living (metropolis or countryside?), children, pets, or how generally the future should look...
Religion, political views, or other ideological issues can become critical for some people. Therefore, having a serious relationship with a girl with opposed beliefs can be passionate. However, such a romance will be full of conflicts and are unlikely to last long. Essential things should be clarified beforehand. And, if you feel you can't find a compromise, it's better to limit yourself to an affair.
Sign #5. You like to talk and listen
To be honest, not all how-I-spent-my-day stories are exciting. Although sincere fondness and interest can transform even the most boring things into thrilling adventures. For the same reason, photographs of strangers are uninteresting to look at. But everything changes when we see our family members or friends pictured there.
When does a relationship become serious, you ask? Right from the point you start caring for each other and think not only about satisfying the momentary desires.
What did your lady prefer doing as a child? Why does she have a scar on her knee? Whether she is happy with the recent political events? If this doesn't interest you in the slightest - this is a wake-up call. Also, if your stories are not listened to, and your opinion is never asked for - you are unlikely to be an important part of her life.
Sign #6. You are ready to receive and give
The most successful and happiest relationships happen with self-sufficient people. Anyway, we all sometimes need the support of loved ones. For some people, however, receiving - is a difficult task. Especially those who were brought up believing it's dishonorable to complain or cry. However - when truly trusting someone, the fear of wounded pride and loneliness recede. Only in this case do we realize - it's nothing wrong with accepting help as a gift with no price.
Due to differences in temperament or upbringing, support can be hard to recognize. For example, you felt terrible, but your girlfriend didn't say warm words. But perhaps at that moment, she was busy keeping calm, calling a car, and googling the address of the nearest clinic. So, her willingness to help is expressed in this way.
Thus, when asking - is 1 year of a relationship serious enough - watch what your girl does. If she didn't come to the rescue - oh... most likely, she is not even your friend.
Sign #7. You talk about the future
What are the signs of a serious relationship? Well, among them is the one where you talk about the future and make joint plans. Sure, time will put things in their place. But at least - both of you want it.
What are the examples here? Below are just a few of them:
- "In the summer we could take a vacation together."
- "How about watching the new Marvel movie next year?"
- "Let's go skating as soon as it's finally cold enough outside!"
You shouldn't be a dating professor to figure out you and your lady consider your relationship from a long-term perspective. Mentally, you two are already fully prepared to do things together (and not only next week or month).
Sign #8. You want to be close to each other
Do you guys enjoy walking the streets holding hands? Sometimes you just hug your girl from behind, and she suddenly turns and kisses your lips? Do you always try to be as close to each other as possible? If yes - great! It's one of the signs of a serious relationship.
Actually, this-person-belongs-to-me behavior in public is a subconscious signal you two use to show the rest of the world that you are together. It is to say, both definitely want more from your romance than just an exciting dating time. Also, since people usually want to be close to those they feel relaxed with - moving in together could be the next step.
Sign #9. You get jealous
How long does it take before a relationship is serious? Obviously, the fact you get jealous thinking someone else could be kissing your lady now is a kind of starting point.
It must be admitted that jealousy (to a certain extent) is pretty hot. However, if your partner reacts enviously to your Instagram stories with female colleagues - her desire to keep you to herself might seem a bit exaggerated. So you need to know the limit that makes the cute sign of fondness a dangerous behavior.
The same rules apply to you too. If you start insulting your woman's friends - well... this might be an indication of anger problems. Then, it's necessary to get professional help before the situation escalates.
Sign #10. You constantly exchange messages
What is a serious relationship nowadays without flirting through messengers? Once you feel genuinely attracted to each other, the short texts become a part of normality. How to ignore even the simple words when they come from the special one?
Still, you should be careful with some signals. For instance, if your messages are limited to sexting - sorry. Then, you two clearly don't want to get to know each other better.
But if you give your girlfriend sincere compliments - while she sends funny videos that sole purpose is to cheer you up - everything changes. Even trivial things like a sticker of a cat hugging a big heart or photos from the shopping mall are promising.
Sign #11. You are introduced to each other's parents
When do relationships get serious? When you acquaint your girlfriend with your parents and vice versa. Sure, if this has happened occasionally - it doesn't count. The event must be well-planned.
On the other hand, we understand that such a dinner might be heart-pounding. Ask yourself: what are your emotions when you think of it? If you are enormously happy - this is not just an affair. Imagine: these may be your future in-laws!
In case your woman easily copes with your relatives - super. This means she has definitely fallen in love and won't mind confessing her feelings. And, on the contrary, if she is constantly avoiding such a meeting - you haven't really captured her heart.
Sign #12. You decide on exclusivity
How to know if you are in a serious relationship? When the so-called exclusivity factor comes into play.
Without making a big deal of it - you both deleted all dating apps, just like that. You two suddenly realize that sex with others doesn't seem appealing anymore. Even if your old-good friend with benefits appears in the city over the weekend - you say no. In addition, you use hints that indicate the seriousness of intentions.
Friendly tip: when you are in a bar or nightclub, you look only at each other. The rest of the people there are just the background.
Sign #13. You spend time together
If you spend a lot of time together - it's a sign you two are progressing in a relationship. Not only in the bedroom, though...
Sure, you are not married, but the desire to see each other as often as possible (including weekends and holidays) says much about the depth of the mutual interest.
Everything is very relaxed and not tense when you walk hand in hand. It is because you both have the same need for closeness and personal space. When you don't see each other, you're thinking of the time you spent together. Also meaningful is the fact you call your girl before you fall asleep and after you wake up. And the other way around.
Sign #14. You try something new together
Does your girl want to experience something new together with you? Do you, as a beer fan, mind trying her favorite cocktails instead? You do not actually listen to hip-hop music, but you do this with your lady. A few weeks later, she willingly goes to the reggae concert with you.
You love to sleep long on Sunday, but (from time to time) you get up early and go jogging with your beloved one. In this case, you don't merely do something good for your health - you show respect. Also, getting out of the comfort zone for your lady is one of the most apparent gestures she wants to make you happy.
Sign #15. You give each other sweet nicknames
If you call each other girlfriend and boyfriend - this is one of the ways you two demonstrate the seriousness of your intentions. What could be more clear?
But this one of the signs of a relationship starting to grow into something big can be shown differently. You shouldn't directly say, "Hey, it's Ginny. She is my girlfriend." You can also give each other special sweet nicknames, like honey-bunny or Mr.&Mrs. Smith. Anyway, if you call your crush baby, and she says darling in return - it's much more in your heart than only sex.
Bottomline
It may seem cruel, but the fact you search for signs a relationship is getting serious already hints at negative answers. And the sooner it becomes clear, the better. However, the attempt to find hidden motives and secret signs is a dubious path, fraught with disappointment.
Of course, the easiest way to sort things out is - to talk with your woman. Share your plans and expectations with her. But be ready that sometimes one may be afraid to be absolutely open. The point is you do not indulge yourself with illusions and fantasies.
Haven't you watched the Hollywood movies where the main character tries to understand why the partner doesn't want to get married and manages to ignore even the direct question? The correct opinion is: that this person doesn't really want to. Sometimes a banana is just a banana, and the lack of interest is exactly what it seems. If your goals and desires don't match, you simply do not fit each other. It's not a tragedy, though - your soulmate is waiting for you!
