I'm not ready for a relationship! Such a statement often sounds like an odd excuse, doesn't it? Still, it's not always wrong to say that since it is the only truth...
You must agree, after a breakup, a colossal emotional barricade between you and the rest of the world is being built by itself. This invisible wall makes it almost impossible for new people to become a part of your life. It is absolutely okay to avoid loud party nights and dates, in general, during this period of emotional instability. You just need to get yourself together in peace and set your thoughts free from all negative judgments.
No matter how strange it sounds - solely through such feelings as despair, grief, and anger, you can build a stable foundation of your new self. This includes overcoming existing internal conflicts, for sure.
After separation from your ex-partner, you should also become aware of what you wish for your future and what needs you have in a relationship. For example, are certain matters particularly important to you in the next romance? Do you have in mind some topics that you want to discuss with your new girlfriend from the beginning? But wait - the fact you can think these aspects over without inner pain is promising!
Dear reader, let us come to the rescue! It's perfectly fine you cannot cope with your emotions and desires to realize what is right. We, on our part, want to help you to estimate your readiness to start dating again through clearly formulated lists of the signs. So, to be or not to be?
Signs you are ready for a relationship
Sign #1. You have learned to love yourself.
We have purposely placed this one above all other signs you are ready for a relationship since this is the fundamental point. You don't have to be a professional psychologist to understand that self-love is paramount in all aspects of life. If you don't value yourself, how can you be genuinely loved by someone else?
We realize this simple, at first glance, task - may seem mission impossible to you. Especially if you were rejected by your ex-girlfriend. But you need to do this to live in peace with yourself. So learn to accept and cherish your body and soul before creating a profile on a dating site.
Sign #2. You know what makes you happy in a relationship.
There was a reason your previous relationship ended up not like in a fairytale. Do you know what exactly went wrong? Have you reflected on your last breakup story?
Only when you know where the greatest mistakes were made can you finally say, "I'm ready for a relationship, guys!" Define your boundaries and be ready to talk about things crucial to you. Because without open communication, you can't build a lasting feeling. Of course, you must also be willing to invest in a relationship and sincerely give another person the chance to get to know you. And yes: it includes not only your strengths but also weaknesses.
Sign #3. You don't want to spend all your evenings at home.
Finally, you enjoy going to parties and watching the newest movies with your friends. And you don't necessarily need a woman near you to feel good. But you definitely want to flirt and catch the glances of the beautiful ladies!
If you feel this energy and desire to meet new people deep inside your soul - then your mental balance is restored, after all! There will come a desire to start not only a light romance - but also a committed relationship.
Sign #4. You can take care of yourself.
Some men jump from relationship to relationship because they need care. Don't laugh, but even today, it is an actual problem. Many modern guys can't cook, clean, or do other household chores themselves. The same goes for emotional support.
If you are ready to be in a relationship - you know you can do it all yourself. You are an independent person and want to find an equal partner - not your housekeeper or personal psychologist.
Sign #5. You have found the perfect work/love life balance.
Am I ready for a serious relationship? - yes, if you have finally found the necessary work/love life balance. For those who don't know how to manage their own time, fitting a new romance into the crazy schedule will be very difficult.
The out of the frying pan into the fire style - is not a good idea in this case. Make your priorities clear - that is how you will not lose but gain.
Sign #6. You don't compare a potential partner to your ex.
How to tell if you're ready for a new relationship, you wonder? The answer is apparent! But let us better give you an example.
If you have met a woman with whom you could imagine having something more than friendship, what do you think? Is that, "Whoa, well, it wasn't that complicated with my ex!" or "Great, it's kinda easier with her than with my ex" - bad news. Such thoughts demonstrate you are definitely not ready for a new love. The context doesn't matter - the point is your ex-girl still has too much space in your heart and mind.
Then, you should ask yourself what the new love should do for you. Are you trying to distract yourself from someone or something that still hurts? Can you make this potential girlfriend happy with this attitude? Think it over, dear reader.
Sign #7. You no longer think about your ex every day.
Immediately after the breakup and for a long time afterward, you think about your ex very often. At first - constantly, then - several times a day, and later - at least once a day. Please, don't say it's not true - we won't believe you.
What is she doing right now? Is she thinking of me? How is she doing? Should I write a comment under her new Instagram photo? Does she secretly see another chance for us?
If these questions don't bother you and you, honestly, don't think of your ex a few times a day - high five. You can say it loud, then, "Am I ready for a relationship? Hell yeah!"
Sign #8. You are happy for your ex-girlfriend and wish her only the best.
Understand us right - we don't want to say you should forget that your ex-partner exists. This could hardly be called a healthy approach. The feelings you had and the experience you gave each other can't be erased from your life.
What is okay, then? If you only think about your ex-girlfriend when the situation calls for it. If you wish her all the best from the bottom of your heart - then you are really over her and can open your heart to a new person. This means that under no circumstances is there a way back for you (not even in your thoughts, by the way, if things don't go well in your new relationship).
Sign #9. You could meet your ex-woman without being upset or angry.
How do I know if I'm ready to date someone again?! exclaim singles while they watch ex-partners' Instagram stories from fake accounts. Do we need to mention they shouldn't start a new romance yet?
And on the contrary, if you were cool bumping into her last weekend - great. Does the thought of your ex-girlfriend getting married or maybe even becoming a mother of someone else's child is not troubling you? Good job - go and ask your cute college out!
Sign #10. You are ready to focus your attention on one person.
Yes, being ready for a relationship involves your willingness to give all your attention and care to only one person - not all pretty girls around you.
Are you super picky and always waiting for something better to come along? Then it won't work, and you shouldn't waste your time thinking you need something serious. Anyone who decides on a committed relationship should also be happy to share life with this one lady: without compromises. And with all her advantages and disadvantages, by the way.
Sign #11. You want it for the right reason.
Everyone has a friend who starts dating someone only for one reason - so he doesn't have to be lonely. If you don't have such a person in your social circle - it's time to worry since that's you!
However, if your goal is to meet a woman with whom you can share your life, who supports you and whom you support, with whom you can laugh and cry and even take to your grandma's 80th birthday... The list of such ideas can continue - the point is - what emotions does it make you feel?
Sign #12. You can't stop thinking of this new girl.
When am I ready for a relationship, you ask? Your heart will tell you!
If you've met someone and you're thinking about her all the time - congratulations: you have a crush. If you found yourself not being able to focus on anything else except for this new hot girl - then we can assume you shouldn't wait any longer.
Sign #13. You want to introduce this girl to your family and friends.
If you feel like your family and friends really need to meet her and you feel comfortable doing it - we are glad to hear that! If you don't see a reason to care what other people think of your new girlfriend, and if they compare her to your ex - then she must be someone special to you. Just don't lose her!
Sign #14. You want to share everything you have recently experienced with her.
It's probably one of the hardest things about separation. We are talking about understanding you and your ex have to go your own ways now. That you can't just call this person and tell her what has happened today - no matter if it was good or bad. Friends and relatives can help during this stage, for sure.
Although, the ready-for-a-relationship man no longer wants to call his ex and tell all the news. He can't wait to share everything he has recently experienced with a potential new girlfriend. If you have the same thought - then that's fine.
Sign #15. You think of your new crush whenever you wake up and fall asleep.
If you wake up in the morning and think about your ex and at night when you fall asleep too - you won't like what we are going to say. Don't even ask, "Am I ready to be in a relationship?" because you are obviously not. If your ex-girl is still dominating your thoughts, you can't fall in love again. However, if you're in a cheerful, positive frame of mind and the new crush makes you smile every day - then you're ready to start dating her.
Sign #16. You can sincerely enjoy sex with a new girl.
If you can let yourself go with a person you currently go out with - that's a good sign. If you can say she doesn't only touch your body, but, above all, your heart during sex - it means you sincerely enjoy the process.
But if you're still in the phase (which is very common after a breakup) where you blame yourself for having sex with another woman - then you're not ready yet, give yourself time.
Sign #17. You are ready to be yourself.
This is, actually, the answer to the question - how to know if you are ready for a relationship.
Family life will surely take a while. And over the years - it will turn unbearably difficult to keep the metaphorical mask on your face. So, when deciding to start a relationship, make sure that your chosen one is familiar with you - and not with your fake personality. Does she know you from all, even the most unattractive sides? We hope she does!
Sign #18. You let yourself be not perfect.
Handsome appearance, an enviable career, an expensive car, and your own house? Fitness three times a week, seaside holidays every four months, and intellectual clubs on Saturdays? You have been trying so hard to make your life look like a brochure, but so far - you have not been able to find an equally flawless life partner.
The fact is that girls admire the ideal men only in movies. So allow yourself to be a living person with your own set of positive and negative qualities. Only this attitude will result in your readiness for committed relationships.
Sign #19. You are willing to compromise.
How to know if you are ready to date again? You don't mind becoming better: bolder and calmer. Living together will require that you change some of your habits very soon. The general flexibility and ability to adapt to circumstances may turn out to be one of the main goodnesses in this regard.
The willingness to make compromises is the hardest thing for men. Since they are straightforward and unbending to master this science. Thus, can you manage that?
Sign #20. You don't hear what other people say.
At this point, you need to ask yourself a question, "Am I ready for a relationship, or is this the desire of someone else?"
Only if you genuinely want it - your future relationship will be successful. Don't decide to start dating someone just to make your family or friends happy.
Signs you aren’t ready for a relationship
Sign #1. You don't recognize yourself.
If you realize you've lost yourself - that's an undeniable sign you are not ready to be in a relationship.
When does it happen? Most often, when you put too much energy into saving what you had with your ex. It takes a little reflection to get to these insights, though. If this situation sounds familiar to you - try to find the part of your personality you accidentally lost. What do you stand for, what is important to you, what interests do you have? To find it all out - date yourself for a while first.
Sign #2. You feel mentally destroyed.
Be absolutely honest with yourself now, no matter how hard it seems. Can you describe what you are feeling right now? Come back to the romance that recently ended in your thoughts. Why does it happen? Did she leave you or rather the opposite?
We don't want to say that you are weak. All - even the most courageous men in the world need time to recover. Even if this wouldn't heal all your wounds - the scars will no longer hurt. And the feeling of being mentally destroyed will disappear.
Sign #3. You need someone to fill the emptiness inside your soul.
If you have a feeling that emptiness inside your soul will go away only when you will finally be dating someone - it's a bad sign. Unfortunately, this clearly demonstrates you are not ready to start a new happy relationship. Above all, you need to find out what makes you satisfied - don't seek it in other people.
Sign #4. You love your freedom too much.
When you think of deleting your favorite dating app - you get sick. It's a sign that perfectly demonstrates you are not ready for a relationship. If you realize there is nothing better for you than a glass of beer and the swiping left/right ritual on Friday evening - listen to your needs and live it out.
Sign #5. You like to party hard.
How to know you are not ready for a relationship? Well, the fact you prefer a party to date speaks for itself: you are sowing your oats now. It's completely normal since every man needs to go through this phase of life before settling down.
Don't try to break yourself into a million pieces pretending you are family-oriented if you, in fact, find the idea of a couple's evening boring.
Sign #6. You don't trust anyone.
How can you build a relationship even with the most faithful woman if you don't trust her? In fact, those who count on no one except for themselves are in a losing position. A new partner should be very patient with such a person. The problem is - that not all ladies are ready to face these difficulties from the very beginning of a romance.
Sign #7. You are sick and tired of hearing about the relationship problems of your friends.
Sometimes, the dramas your friends go through in their relationships burn you out like your own. They involve you in their problems so much, so you have only one thing in mind - it's enough. This undoubtedly belongs to the no-ready-relationship way of thinking. Actually, the best thing you can do here is - ask your mates not to drag you into their fights. Otherwise, you will never be ready to start a romance yourself.
Sign #8. You have too many fantasies about your future partner.
Modern society has various ways of how it dictates who you should like. Numerous romantic comedies have deluded your image of a girlfriend so much that a relationship can only go wrong. All the pornos on the Web make you expect unnatural behavior from a woman. But stop following these trends! The more fantasies about the future girlfriend you have - the harder it becomes to meet such a perfect match. So, remember - down with your expectations first.
Sign #9. You don't want to share your bed with someone.
Don't laugh, but this also indicates a not-ready-for-a-relationship person. What do you feel when you think of sharing your bed with someone? Do you start thinking of how comfortable it is to sleep with outstretched arms and legs? Well, dear reader - give yourself some more time of freedom before giving dating a chance again.
Sign #10. Your heart is ice cold.
Is that what you feel now? Then, you need to accept this emotional exhaustion. Even if you don't want to believe it at the moment - your heart is not that ice cold, and you can fall in love again! The right girlfriend will summon them up again at the right moment when you're ready to open up to a new successful relationship.
