Let us guess: you’ve met a wonderful lady that takes up all your thoughts. She is cute, elegant, but shy. Actually, her shyness makes you even more attracted. Since this girl is never the center of attention and attends to look quite detached in the eyes of friends and acquaintances, her mysterious nature makes you curious.
She likes to keep silent, especially at loud parties, but, at the same time, shows her smart and feminine side. You can feel that there is a real treasure hidden behind the front of modesty.
You love the way this lady pushes her hair behind the ear and looks down every time your eyes meet.
Well, it’s just a crush on her calm, discreet manner. In fact, she does not have to do anything special - you just can’t stop yourself from dreaming about your future romance. But how to date a shy girl? Well, it is not so challenging as it seems. Moreover, with this article, we will give you the answers to the most common questions in this regard! It means you do not have to worry - simply lay your success on us.
How to approach a shy girl?
We want to start with the basics.
There are three things you should definitely know in this context:
Show your self-confidence
Due to different personal reasons, the lady you are interested in doesn’t have enough self-belief and determination. In other words, she is not interested in being in a relationship with a man who has the same character traits. Her soulmate, in such a case, is rather someone totally different than a mental twin.
So, no matter how shy you are - make the first step. For example, if you two are guests at the same party - just go and say, «Hello!». It is also important to think your dialogue ahead - remember, she is not the most talkative person you’ve ever met. These simple steps will show your potential girlfriend your masculinity and confidence in the best possible way.
Say a genuine compliment
Attention! Saying a compliment should not be confused with flattering. Remember - this lady may appear modest, but not clueless. It would not be hard for her to see the difference between real emotions and pick-up tricks.
So, in this matter, you need to be focused on the things which have attracted your attention to exactly this woman. What was that? Her T-Shirt with a funny print or big blue eyes? Simply think to yourself about it, and the answer will come. Still, no matter what you say - be honest.
Tell her about your intentions
Do not try to represent yourself as a macho who is famously excellent at finding love. This kind of man may find interesting only playful young girls since they don't have any hopes of committed relationships or marriage. When talking about dating a shy woman, instead your seriousness is almost the most important thing. Make her feel comfortable offering friendship. Only when the chemistry between the two of you can't be hidden, try to move your relationship to a romantic plane.
How to ask out a shy girl
As set forth, «no pressure» should be the kind of motto for a friendship or relationship with this woman. Still, how to ask out a shy girl and not to spook her?
You are going to laugh, but we are pretty serious. Just go and ask her! It makes sense, especially if you know each other for a pretty long time. However, you better don't come around with the love confession because it would be really too much for such a woman. All you have to do is offer to watch a movie together or simply go for a walk in the park.
If you communicate online, write your lady an SMS in a non-casual way. In this case, an invitation to drink a cup of coffee together would sound good.
If the woman of your dreams is, at the same time, your colleague, leave a note on her desk. You can write something like, «Eating alone is so boring. Would you mind joining me tomorrow?».
No matter which one from the above-named options you choose - don’t be too pushy. If, for some reason, she is not ready - be patient, as this is the only way how you can gain her trust.
How to talk to shy girl
Okay, you are on the date. Most likely, it won’t be easy to start a laid-back conversation since it’s the very first time you see each other in a romantic light. So, how to talk to a shy girl?
Be patient
It is quite standard if such a lady is not talking to you so actively as other girls you used to date before. It doesn’t mean that she is not interested, rather shy. If you want to be in a relationship with her - let things go naturally. Don’t set any deadline. Avoiding force, you show respect to the feelings of this lady that she truly deserves.
Use small talk as a perfect start
Relax: the fact your new girlfriend is smart doesn’t mean that you need to read Tolstoy before the first date so you would have something to talk about. The best theme to start your conversation would be something simple that goes around you. Try to make her laugh. However, don’t be too personal, talking about your family issues or ex-girlfriends.
Ask open-ended questions
Dating a shy woman, you need to forget about questions she can answer with yes or no: at least, till you get to know each other better. Make her talk more with open-ended questions. It will surely help to understand her character more. Also, when your lady answers, dig deeper by finding out details, asking «why?», or «how?».
Do not be aggressive
Many men have a tendency to be a bit aggressive when talking to a shy girl. It happens because her feelings are something like unknown territory for you.
However, who cares what she thinks if, because of the aggressiveness, you won’t have a chance to see this lady again? So, breathe in, breathe out. The calmness will help you in getting what you want.
How to text a shy girl
In modern life, online and offline ways of communication are intertwined. For this reason, when talking about dating, chatting becomes a necessary part of every relationship. How to text a shy girl, then? Are there any specifications?
Well, there are three general rules in this regard:
Make your messages more personal
Never send your shy girl texts written impersonal. Such behavior creates the impression that you just copy and paste it in chats with other women. So, you need to use as much personal information as possible. For example, write that you love how she smiles on the avatar picture or that you listen to the same kind of music as the one from her status. In-jokes from your last meeting are also very welcome.
Send photos
If you don't know what to say, a spontaneously made photo with the caption «Miss you!», a cute selfie, or a picture of something that reminds you of your lady - will probably put a smile on her face.
Furthermore, photos can start a conversation even without big words. Try it out!
Be creative
Instead of the usual, «Would you like to go out with me?», there are some more captivating ways of starting a conversation. Honestly, your girl has probably seen messages like this before.
So if you don’t want her to say no or simply ignore your invitation - be creative. Text something like this,«I heard you like romantic comedies. Should I get us tickets for a new movie with Katherine Heigl in the title role?». Dating a shy woman is about paying attention to details - remember that.
How to flirt for shy girls
As you may guess, ladies of this type do not express their feelings openly, especially at the beginning of relationships. How to flirt for shy girls, then? Oh, well, it is one of the biggest problems they have to face when talking about love. What do you need to do at this stage? Right, take the initiative, once again!
On the other hand, however, don’t let your flirting attempts to be reckless, like a bull in a china shop. It will definitely not help you to awake the romantic feelings in her soul.
People who suffer from shyness need a lot of trust to open up to another one. You need to gain it with the help of light flirting and actions. Tell her as many positive things about yourself as possible, but remain honest. In a relaxed manner, tell this woman about your family, work, life values, and so on. Through these small things, try to find similarities and give her a feeling that you know each other forever.
Always monitor the signals your lady sends while flirting and follow them. As we have said, when it comes to a relationship with such a girl, sensitivity is required. If she doesn't want to hold hands or kiss exactly at this moment - respect that and take a step back. Her gesturing is the yardstick by which you can always see how far you can go.
Signs a shy girl likes you
Let us talk a bit more about the signs a shy girl likes you. Is there something that would make her fondness visible?
She looks deep into your eyes
If you truly like someone, the desire to see this person as often as possible becomes almost unbeatable. This feeling helps you to see only the best sides of your crush.
However, when talking about the shy girl likes you signs, the expression of emotions she feels becomes different. It is hard for her to look directly into your eyes, probably such a lady will try to avoid it. But, if you catch her looking at you - this glance will be deep and meaningful. She may even get red! As a result - her sympathy is quite clear.
She laughs every time you say a joke, no matter how funny other people find it? Well, it is one of the most obvious signs that a shy girl likes you!
You already know that she is not good at expressing her emotions. But, in this case, such a woman wants to let you know that she values your sense of humor, as a part of your personality.
She plays with her hair
How to tell a shy girl likes you? Well, if she often plays with her hair or clothes - it is a clear sign that she is nervous but, at the same time, interested. With these actions, subconsciously, she's trying to look prettier in your eyes. This lady may also continually put in order her clothes to make sure everything fits perfectly.
So, if you can see at least some of the described signs - congratulations, mon ami, she likes you very much.
How to break the touch barrier with a shy girl?
Okay, let us move on to the hardest part.
First of all, you need to reread the signs that confirm she is interested in you before doing anything. Only if you notice the majority of them are present - it will be the right time to go on the offensive. Otherwise, you get nothing but bitterness and anger.
So, the signs are clear, what to do, then? The best occasion, in this case, would be «removing» something from her cheek or hair. Your touch will be seen as nice and caring, without any erotic subtext.
Another option we can offer is becoming a gentleman. Try to open the door when your lady comes or move her chair when she wants to sit. In such an event, your girlfriend would not mind if you help her to wear a coat and accidentally touch the shoulders or neck.
Still, no matter how passionate you are - don’t rush your woman if she is not ready to become that close.
In this article, we were talking about the most important things about dating a shy woman. As you already know, the whole process, beginning from catching her attention to starting a committed relationship, can take, in some cases, months or even years. However, you will never regret choosing such a girlfriend.
Often, a shy attitude is simply a trait of character. You have to accept that since fundamental changes never happen fast.
Building a relationship with a shy female becomes even more difficult if your lady has some bad romantic experience behind; cultural differences play a huge role too. It is usually a challenge for a shy woman to make new contacts, as she is reserved and careful. So, take all her efforts towards your romance with respect and appreciation.
Having such a girlfriend is like hitting the jackpot in a lottery, especially if you are ready to settle down. The best wife and mother can’t be found. Once you find the key to her soul - your personal fairytale begins!
FAQ
What is the reason why for me to date a shy girl?
As a rule, such women have a romantic nature and are more delicate than their a bit pushy rivals. They are concentrated on the happiness of their partners, even if their own wishes become less important. These ladies appreciate every minute you spend together. Moreover, shy girls don’t have a problem if you need to spend some time by yourself - they need it too. The love and care such a female can give is something special - just give her some time to open up.
How long does it take for a very shy girl to open up?
It depends on your woman. Some of them need a few hours while for the other ones ten years would not be enough. Dating such a lady, you need to try to read between the lines. She doesn’t have to express all emotions with words. It’s a well-known fact that even the best psychologist in the world can’t control his body language. So, when talking about the romance with such a woman, pay attention to her gestures. For exact signs, check the «How to know a shy girl likes you» part of this article.
Does my shyness make me attractive?
Actually, it is just a matter of taste. There are a lot of people who find shyness attractive. On the other hand, some of them don’t want to wait long and choose, after all, an open-minded and easy-going partner.
Why is my girlfriend so shy around me?
Don’t worry, most likely - it is just your girlfriend’s nature. Such behavior shows that she is genuinely attracted to you and doesn’t want to lose you. How to get shy girls to feel a bit more relaxed? Show such a woman that, in your eyes, she is the most beautiful, smart, and exciting personality you’ve ever seen. She needs to feel comfortable in your company. Also, if you two are close enough, your gentle kisses and hugs will definitely help her to relax.
What kind of expectations should I have dating a shy girl?
You can expect that in the very beginning, your relationship will develop really slowly. However, with time, your girlfriend will change to an amazing conversationalist and lover. To be honest: she expects to become your wife one day as such women never start a romance only to escape the boredom. How to date a shy girl if you want to have fun only? Well, better don’t waste her time, then. You can find someone happy-go-lucky for a short affair.
