Relationships, flirting, chatting: for an introvert, dating is exceptionally challenging. These words alone make such a lady feel a bit dizzy and violated. Since it's apparent that if she is not lucky enough, she will have to deal with those things from time to time.
The fact the majority of the relationship tips are either for extroverts or generally ridiculously superficial makes the situation even worse. That's why reserved personalities must get their own input and develop a successful strategy without expert help. The same goes for those who want to build relationships with introverts.
A dive into the vastness of the Internet has allowed us to determine the most common problems - just like the best working tips and tricks to avoid them. That doesn't mean, however, that this article will give a chance to solve every issue in romance with a shy woman. Whoever promises you this is just trying to sell you something, sorry. Instead, today you will learn 9 things introverts secretly love, how they flirt, and what exactly you need to do to win the heart of such an unusual girl. On the other hand, if you are a quiet guy too - after reading our recommendations, you will get a little security. So there would be no possibility of using this character trait as an excuse. In case you are rather extroverted - there is also something you can learn here.
Okay, then: are you ready for insights?
How to ask an introverted girl out?
You cannot approach a self-conscious wallflower in the same way as an extrovert. Therefore, if you wonder how to get an introvert to ask you out - know that it could be a mission-impossible project.
Such women tend to shy away from interaction or social situations, so being overly aggressive in your strategy or asking them out straightaway can turn them off. You can't figure out in advance whether the lady is reserved due to the tragedies in her childhood, low self-esteem, or culture. Anyway, you should approach her in a flirty but respectful way. Below are the top three suggestions for how to do this most effectively:
Try to match her energy
This doesn't just apply to introverted females, but to anyone you just met. Matching or mirroring someone's body language and verbal communication can help them bond to you more quickly. With a reserved girl, however, you shouldn't imitate her introversion and appear as quiet as a mouse. Instead, drop your own inner power down a few notches. Once she starts feeling more comfortable with you - slowly increase your energy again.
Be sweet and relaxed
If you're talking or flirting with a shy woman - make sure you're charming and calm. This makes her feel more comfortable and less judged. When you respond to her quirks, she will start questioning what she says and does, turning back on inside her soul.
Lead the conversation
Introverts don't usually like to lead the conversation, so you must accept this challenge and moderate the discussion. Don't be too scared to talk about yourself because that will keep the conversation exciting and your lady engaged in it. It might even make her open up and share a few details about her lifestyle or hobbies!
This tip also applies if you try to flirt with an introvert via text messages.
How to talk to an introverted girl?
When you date an introvert, you instinctively decide it's necessary to help her to open up. But would this make her feel comfortable around you?
To break herself and appear talkative is about becoming someone she is not - what a complicated task for a shy girl! Thus, don't take it offensively if your crush doesn't reveal her personality to you immediately. To speed things up, you need to make her feel like she can be herself with you. Here is what you need to do to achieve the best results:
Show your woman that you are not planning to teach her life
As mentioned earlier, introverts don't need someone to explain the benefits of being chatty. They are who they are - so why don't you show your tender wallflower you are not intended to judge her? Instead, through sweet and polite communication, demonstrate that you accept your lady's nature and adore her with all advantages and disadvantages.
Listen carefully to what she says
In fact, no matter how banal it sounds, we need to highlight this aspect too. You must listen to everything your shy girl says, especially since she doesn't say much. Just assume every word that falls from her lips is significant.
Do not gossip with her
You should understand that introverts are usually self-conscious and don't feel particularly confident, talking negatively about others in their presence. Hence, if gossiping is your favorite hobby - be careful. It can make matters worse. Try to only speak positively about others around your woman (at least, initially) to make her feel more comfortable.
Show that you care about her
Despite knowing that you care about her, an average shy lady often has a lot of self-doubts. So make it clear that you will give her all the support she needs because your feelings are sincere.
How to text an introverted girl?
How to spot an introverted girl? Apparently, such people find it very difficult to be in the spotlight and party hard in a large company of friends. They prefer the solitude and coziness of their own home. For a similar reason, they choose texting, not calling. The second option can't be considered unless absolutely necessary. The explanation for such preferences is simple: correspondence requires less effort and almost no emotional output. It's the sort of struggle for introverts to be involved in intense live communication because this deprives them of strength for a long time.
However, not all loners are unsociable neurasthenics. Most of them are calm, well-adjusted, and moderately sociable people. Spending time chatting with others in noisy places in simply not among their life priorities. Introverts, in fact, get very tired of an overabundance of communication. So keep it in mind when texting one of them.
A typical wallflower is happy to discuss exciting news. But at the same time, it is unlikely that your conversation will drag on for a long time - unless on your initiative. Still, after you exchange messages for fifteen or twenty minutes - you will certainly notice that your woman is trying with all her might to curtail the conversation.
Talking about nothing is a kind of headache for an introvert. Therefore, all standard small talk topics (such as weather) are a confusing waste of precious time for a lady with this temperament. For this reason, if you want your chat to last a little longer, make it meaningful and engaging. It's great if you two have the same interests and hobbies. In this case, she will be happy to talk, and you will even be surprised by how eloquent she can be.
How to flirt with an introverted girl?
It's hardly surprising, but introverts generally flirt differently than extroverts. Shyness affects almost all areas of life, including, of course, romantic relationships. Loners are more reserved and careful. You can't easily read their thoughts by looking into their eyes.
But how to start dating an introverted girl if all your knowledge regarding flirting doesn't work with her? Once again: don't worry, in this article is placed everything you need.
Okay then, how does a cute wallflower express her interest? Well... it could be a problem for her because the situation itself requires a behavior change. She tends to hold back on gestures, expressions of emotion, and long speeches. And that's what flirting demands.
Here are the five tips that will make the whole process smoother:
Don't be clingy
It's the most important of the flirting tips.
An attentive and self-confident man seems attractive to an introverted girl. Become aware of your strengths and admit that you can be satisfied with yourself. This will immediately relax you when looking for a partner with a reserved nature. Accordingly, you will start radiating enchanting peace and serenity.
Take it easy
Do not go into great detail about your achievements, don't casually refer to the amount of money in your bank account and the like. This won't impress the introverted lady. Since, unfortunately, in her ears, this is just boasting. Listen to her instead, build on what has been said, ask questions - invite your crush to a lively dialogue.
When complimenting - do it subtly!
Let some words of appreciation slip in during the conversation. Are you enchanted by your woman's eyes? Or maybe the way she speaks drives you crazy? Then, tell her that! Just make it spontaneous and, above all, personalized. Only in this case - your wallflower will be captivated.
Watch your body language
You have 50 facial muscles to create more than 10,000 expressions. Use them! This presents you as an attentive, interested, and intelligent person. Smile a lot, and pay attention to your body language - try to seem as optimistic as possible, and success is unavoidable.
How to break the touch barrier with an introverted girl?
Touches are an essential part of every romance. Physical contact ensures cohesion in the couple - and it is a perfect basis for happily ever after. However, depending on the character, people take this part of the relationship quite differently.
When dating an introvert, you need to remember that such a woman doesn't like being touched by guys she barely knows. Extroverts are undoubtedly more open in this respect.
Anyway, what can you start with? At best, a handshake will be accepted by this lady. The rest depends on the degree of intimacy you two have. While caress of the neck, ears, and waist requires the highest level of trust - holding hands causes less discomfort to a shy person. When choosing the second option to break the touch barrier, the risk of being denied is much lower.
With time, of course, you can slowly proceed with the demonstration of affection and desire through physical contact. Still, patience is your ultimate weapon here. Give your wallflower time to relax and feel comfortable in your arms. Only then - your touches can become more intense.
Introverted girls in relationships and love
When deciding on introverted women dating, you need to know the basics of how they behave in relationships and love. So read this section of our article particularly carefully.
Ladies with such character often appear locked away from the world. It sometimes seems that they don't have their own opinion, which is certainly not true. These females merely absorb impressions from their surroundings much more strongly. And thus quickly perceive a situation outside the home as exertion rather than relaxation.
If you have fallen in love with an introverted girl, your main struggle will be the constant feeling of rejection. The reason for it can quickly be determined. Closeness is an integral part of every romance. That triggers in a shy lady the desire to distance herself.
Hence, when dating an introverted woman, you must give her all the freedom she needs. For example, if she says she would like to spend the evening alone, you shouldn't immediately suspect it's a betrayal. Instead, you can be sure that your beloved one simply wishes to have an evening to herself - and this has nothing to do with you. Neither you have done anything wrong, nor does she need a break from the relationship. Let her recharge her batteries - that's it. On the other hand, if your introverted girlfriend prefers spending time with you instead of loneliness - it's a clear sign of her fondness.
Reserved ladies often protect their feelings like real treasure. But just because they're emotionally reticent doesn't mean they love less. On the contrary: they are genuinely sensitive. This is just harder to spot their adoration since it's expressed less directly with words but through deeds and non-verbal means.
You need to accept everything we say - especially if your intentions toward your cute introvert are serious.
A relationship between an introverted woman and an extroverted man
How to have a relationship with an introvert when you are an extrovert? Well, the success of this undertaking depends on the correct interaction between partners in a couple. For instance, demanding your girlfriend to become equally sociable is unfair. In such a case, your romance will become imbalanced because this contradicts the beloved one's nature. Although we don't want to state that this union is doomed to fail. Follow these three tips to make things work:
Talk
As an extrovert, you need to pay more attention to the introvert's thoughts and emotions. Open and honest communication can help to avoid misunderstandings. But, again - watch the dose, don't become clingy. Don't ask your girl how she feels every day - choose the moments when you need a little more clarity.
Be respectful
How do you get an introvert to love you when you have an exactly opposite character? The answer is simple: respect her! If she seems reclusive, she probably has her reasons for it. This doesn't necessarily have to do anything with you. The best thing you can do is - recognize and respect that your woman is allowed to act differently in many aspects. Trust us, this approach will bring more relaxation into the relationship.
Do not judge
Don't try to change your lady or judge her for not thinking and acting the way you want her. The same goes for your girl. Openly discuss your wishes and needs - it will be more effective. In fact, that's the only alternative you get the chance to deal with each other's dissimilarities appropriately.
A relationship between an introverted woman and an introverted man
If you've been used to avoiding conversations with women or always starting flirting the same way only to find out it was nothing - then it's time for a change. There's nothing wrong with being an introvert! You just need to grow mentally, not forgetting about self-confidence. It will probably feel weird at first, and that's perfectly normal.
Why do you need to start dating introverts, then? Apparently, your characters match. At the same time, they appreciate you are aware of what you want and focused on achieving your goals instead of talking. In addition, the depth of your soul is enormous. Which is not only reflected in conversations but also has an impact on your own interests and passions. That's, namely, what turns shy ladies on.
All dating tips for introverts suggest you make acquaintances through online dating. Unfortunately, this way of meeting women is overlooked far too often by reserved guys. You don't need to think that the Internet is for one-night stands. There are still countless hopeless romantics - looking for someone like you on dating platforms! As an introverted man - you can achieve great success here with the right strategy and approach.
P.S. we won't waste your time telling you how you should act in a relationship with a wallflower. Just never forget - she loves all the same things as you.
Signs an introverted girl likes you
How do you date an introvert when you can't tell she likes you? And, in fact, when you look at such a woman, you can't understand whether she is just shy or has no interest in getting to know you better. Oh dear, understanding women is not an easy task - the reserved ones are even more challenging in this regard... In any case, a great deal of tact is required here to recognize the flirting signals.
Thus, if you want to find out whether there is only modesty or, unfortunately, a lack of interest - pay attention to the body language. Facial expressions, gestures, and non-verbal communication provide all necessary information - you just need to be attentive enough.
By the way, the following five signals indicate that your crush likes you but is just too shy to show it:
Sign #1. Eye contact
Can't your stunning girl keep her eyes on you for a long time? Sounds promising since it demonstrates her affection.
The eye contact may be brief, but she keeps trying to catch glimpses of you out of the corner of her eye. If yes, you can notice it from a distance - there is no need for close contact. A slightly tilted head and a momentary blush reveal that she wants it but does not dare to approach you.
Sign #2. Lips
Does your lady bite her lip lightly when you talk? No, she doesn't want to stimulate your erotic fantasies - at the same time, such a gesture speaks volumes!
Shy women often chew or lick their lips. The background of it can be lightly explained by psychologists. On the one hand, it is a sign of excitement and nervousness. She likes you but doesn't know how to act. On the other hand, the mouth becomes drier when aroused, which is why introverted females keep moisturizing their lips. Thus, keep your eyes open.
Sign #3. Body position
What is your girl's body position? Is she turned towards you? Once you have managed to get a conversation going, pay close attention to her posture, then.
If her upper part of the body is a little bent in your direction - this is a positive signal. It makes clear that she wants your communication to keep going. If, on the other hand, your wallflower keeps her arms crossed in front of her chest or is easily distracted by other things - bad news. These are the signs of resistance and disinterest.
Sign #4. Distance
Answer with all honesty: does your crush allow closeness? Does she distance herself when you approach her? Or does she stay where she is, even when you are too close to her?
A reserved woman will certainly allow closeness only if she is interested and has no problem with the distance between you decreasing.
Sign #5. Attentiveness
Your phrases do not matter - she secretly listens to what you say. Does it sound familiar to you?
Let's imagine the situation. An absolutely gorgeous girl is always somewhere around you, but you never speak with each other. How to check whether she hears everything you chat with other people about?
Just tell your friend something funny next time she is somewhere near. And? Can you spot a smile on her face? Caught! Then she secretly listened to you because she was interested in you but didn't dare speak to you.
Tips for dating an introverted girl
A happy relationship with a reserved lady requires not only patience and sensitivity on your side. It also demands a deep understanding of her needs, of course. Extraverts, in particular, cannot always accept the polarity of these colliding personality dimensions. Although, if you know why your wallflower is the way she is and follow a few rules: you two can become a very harmonious couple.
Okay, your shy crush is showing clear signs that she is interested in you. Great! Then the next step is to win her heart once and for all. How to do this? Check these five tips for dating an introvert, and stop worrying!
Tip #1. Tolerance and acceptance
When wondering how to date an introverted girl, it's crucial to consider this fundamental rule: tolerance and acceptance in everything.
You are not a child - so nothing is shocking in the fact that all people are different. For this reason, particularly in a relationship with a reserved lady, you need to control the temptation of using your character as a yardstick.
Follow this rule if you are intended to successfully build a romance with such a woman. It's necessary to turn on all your understanding and sensitivity for the best results. Enduring all drawbacks of each other's characters belong to the must-do list.
Thus, each time when the argument seems unavoidable - demonstrate these things through your words and actions: no one should change for the sake of this love!
Tip #2. Understanding instead of misunderstandings
One of the greatest dangers of dating an introvert lies in the misinterpretation of her desire to withdraw into herself.
We know it's a big challenge not to take actions of your girlfriend (or the lack of them) as unwillingness to communicate with you. Try not to take such moments personally, though. Always keep in mind that she doesn't see her behavior as somehow offensive. This will help to avoid many stressful situations in the future.
Never forget: introverts don't reject the circle of friends of the more active partner per se - they just need longer to warm up to this kind of communication. And too many events or people are not exactly conducive to this.
Tip #3. Make compromises
We guess it appears that a relationship with a wallflower is about doing only things she likes. It's not the pure truth, though. How to date an introverted woman with the knowledge that you deserve to be happy too? Apparently: accepting your partner's needs doesn't mean that compromises are taboo. On the contrary: the more understanding of the needs of the loved one you have - the easier it is to find the point of contact that both sides feel comfortable with.
Let us give you a few examples. You can invite only a couple of friends to the weekend trip instead of the whole clique. Or your introverted girlfriend can leave the party after just a few hours without being accused of being a boring killjoy. It is also clever to keep the partner who needs rest out of all the planning details and only coordinate the important cornerstones with her.
Tip #4. Never overwhelm or surprise
Every guide on dating an introvert includes this point. And yes: it's an absolute no-go to catch your woman off guard. All spontaneous actions or even surprises must be somehow regulated.
All sorts of improvisation stress a shy lady - she needs her routine and time to mentally adjust to new things. Thus, just so you know: being the protagonist of a surprise party in a room full of singing guests would be the worst thing you can do to an introvert.
Tip #5. Silence
Even together with the beloved one, a wallflower often chooses to keep silent. The same goes for the company of the closest friends or relatives.
How to talk to an introverted girl, then? Well, it's better not to have high hopes here - at least, initially. Since answers to your questions might often be monosyllabic.
In general, introverts don't feel the need to constantly communicate. They often sort out what they consider unimportant or trivial without saying a word. The result is a great silence. But not out of disinterest, of course.
Dating an introverted girl FAQ
Can introverts and extroverts date?
Yes, extroverts and introverts can indeed date. However, as mentioned in our article, both partners in such a couple must respect and accept each other.
How do you know if an introverted girl loves you?
Let us guess how you usually show that you love someone: you say it! These three simple words are the best indication of feelings, for sure. Actually, when attached to a girl, you want to shout it from the rooftops - but definitely don't hide your emotions.
What are the facts that clearly demonstrate that an introverted woman loves you? She acts differently, of course. So her words would be: I like being around you, I saw this and thought of you, let's stay a little longer, or I told my parents about us.
Is it good to date an introverted girl?
Yes, why not? If you are ready to turn a blind eye to her reserved nature, you will see how loyal, wise, and kind she is.
How do introverts start dating?
If two single introverts like each other and want to date exclusively, the biggest pressure when everything begins is uncertainty. They need to talk openly about their feelings, no matter how hard it seems.
Secondly, it must be discussed and decided what pace these two want to move at. This could mean waiting much longer before making things more serious or jumping into the deep end. Anyway, a relationship should be defined as a journey through life together. This means that the terms of the romance should not be dictated by what everyone else is doing.
What is the best thing about the couple of two introverts? They can support each other during socially challenging times, overcome shyness when it's holding them back in some way, and become stronger versions of themselves.
Is dating hard for introverts?
Yes, unfortunately, it is not a myth. Dating is indeed hard for introverts.