“Dating dad“ - this expression seems quite well established in the present-day realities. It’s hardly surprising, though: the number of single fathers is growing steadily. Back in the 60s and 70s of the past century, it was kind of exotic. Nowadays, in contrast, according to statistics, about 20 percent of single parents raise their children without women’s help. Significant changes have occurred, haven’t they?
The increasing divorce rates, just like the awareness that a kid does not necessarily has to stay with the mother: throws men an extra portion of challenges. So, what is it like to be back in the game again? Do single dads have good chances of success, or ladies really have a certain prejudice against them? These and many other controversial questions we are going to review in this guide. Okay, then: ready, steady, go!
Why dating as a single dad is hard
Judging by the fact that you keep on reading this text, most likely, the mentioned above sad statistic touches your personal issues. And, either because you are tired of being lonely, or since you have already met a marvelous woman that could be your special one - the topic of new relationships has definitely arisen in your mind.
Yes, you have a failed marriage behind, so what? Of course, these personal circumstances and the existence of the child do change your “market value.” But bear in mind: that’s not some kind of life sentence. It is within your power to become that Prince Charming every woman dreams about. You just need to raise all barriers of your way. It is not as hard as it seems, though.
Below you can find top-five reasons why men like you experience difficulties when they start searching for love again. Analyze these grounds and let this knowledge help you to be successful in a new romance.
P.S. It’s worth mentioning, dating a single dad-widower, in the opinion of many experts, is even more complicated owing to his traumatic background. We, therefore, won’t focus our attention on this type of sole father at the moment.
So, why does the whole dating for single dads subject turn out to be challenging? What are the main reasons for it?
Reason #1. When you get to know someone, everything goes fine. However, as soon as the presence of children in your life comes up during the conversation - the potential partner's attitude often changes. In many cases, a date then tries to evade further meetings or simply flee right away.
Reason #2. There are many singles nowadays who don't want to have children at all. They belong to the so-called child-free movement. On the other hand, a childless woman you have met may want to have kids, but a bit later. She might not be ready to take on the responsibility of your little one right from the start.
Reason #3. No matter how head over heels in love you are - the child will always come first. Many ladies just cannot handle the feeling of being second place in relationships.
Reason #4. The search for a new partner itself is quite time-consuming. Especially if you are a single parent. It, therefore, is not always that easy to accommodate in stressful everyday life romantic rendezvous, not forgetting about the kid's needs.
Reason #5. After a long working day, supplemented by household chores and time with a child - the energy to go looking for a new girlfriend in the evening is simply missing. Having lots of good friends and family members willing to help with daily tasks is essential for an active partner search. Otherwise - it will be really complicated.
Women reaction to your children
Dating single dads for women who don't have children themselves might be pretty tricky. Put yourself in such a girl's shoes. Only a day ago, she was responsible solely for herself, and already today - she has a little one to take care of. What you need to do in this situation is - give your lady time to come to terms with all this. If she genuinely loves you - the question of accepting your kind as her own won't even appear. If she is not looking for a serious relationship - it's good to find out about it right from the beginning. In this case, the presence of children might be very helpful since it makes the potential partner's intentions clear immediately.
When talking about females who are single mothers - it ought to be a bit easier. Such a person totally understands you and your expectations towards the new partner since she has similar ones. She knows how to deal with kids and for sure won't react with jealousy to the amount of time you spend with your baby. Still, a single dad dating a single mom - should be aware of the challenges all blended families face. He, on his side, needs to bond with his woman's kids. In the best case - become friends with them. On the other hand, you two will have to help your children to connect. Without this little part, a relationship won't work.
Yes, as you can see - it won't be only two people in romance anymore once you are a father.
Children reaction to a potential stepmom
According to the experts from one famous single dad dating website, the children's reaction to a potential stepmom could be variable. If the little ones are very fixated on their parents - they often react with jealousy. The stress begins when they suddenly realize they have to share their mother's or father's love with someone else.
How does it express itself in the context of single dad dating? Such envy often gives rise to the idea of provoking his new partner in every possible way, deliberately keeping silent or not reacting to her at all. If there is also lively contact with the biological mother - the additional issues appear. This fact often makes children deal with loyalty problems. Especially if the ex-partner remains single and, for example, speaks badly about the new father's girlfriend. It might even happen that such comments will give kids the reason to blame your new woman for the family's downfall.
At this point, we want to share one of the most crucial divorced dad's dating advice. If you see that your new partner is always kind and friendly with your children, but they still reject her - it happens because they have the feeling that she is taking something away from them. The best thing you can do on this occasion is to speak openly and honestly about the situation. It is essential to explain to kids that your new girlfriend doesn't want to steal anything that rightfully belongs to them. In fact, quite on the contrary! She is going to be one more person in their lives who truly cares and supports. It is good if you help children to understand that having this lady by your side is good for all family members. She, however, needs to do something too. For example, your girlfriend can start picking them up from school, helping with homework, or just watching TV together. Joint activities that are fun for everyone are, by the way, a perfect antidote against envy and jealousy!
How to date as a single dad?
Even if the little ones take a special place in your life and you love them more than anything else - that does not mean that you have to forget about finding a new girlfriend forever. The modern world has plenty of opportunities to get to know women, especially if you don't have much time for constant meetings. Dating sites for single dads, single parents' clubs, social networks communities - you can use all these options without leaving your house. Although many sole fathers don't really know how to date in such new status. For everyone who has doubts in this regard, we've prepared five working tips that will surely bring success.
Tip #1. Play fair and square
If you want to start a serious relationship with someone - be honest with this person from the beginning. To be more specific, we are talking about hiding the fact you have a child. No matter what exactly causes this behavior of yours: either you don't want to scare your potential girlfriend off or don't find it important - don't do this. No later than on the second date, you should mention your status. Who knows, maybe she doesn't see it as a problem - but your dishonesty might be fatal.
Tip #2. Appreciate yourself
Unfortunately, single parents often believe their chances of finding a partner are much worse than those who don't have children. Some even think they don't deserve to be happy at all. It's not just a myth - it's complete nonsense! You have a right to be picky and ask to go out only with those ladies who really turn you on. If you start dating the first woman interested to know you better - then it is indeed something wrong with your self-esteem level. And, in this case, it would be wise to sort yourself out before starting a new romance.
Tip #3. Don't bring your child on the first date
Don't laugh, but it is one of the most critical tips for single dads in dating matters. In many ways, this is not advantageous for all parties.
You and your date should first have the time to get to know each other better. Perhaps you will already notice after the first meeting that it won't work for you - then you've stressed your child out for nothing. Especially if you go on dates with several ladies at the beginning. Trust us: it would be very nerve-wracking for your little one to get to know them all. So it's better to become closer to your potential girlfriend in peace and quiet first and then weigh up when you want to introduce her to your child.
Tip #4. Choose the right topics
Okay, you are a single parent and don't have a beloved one at present. And? Are there any other exciting facts about your life you want to discuss during the date? Exactly: you shouldn't be concentrated on the two mentioned above matters. A date involves having dialogues. So you need to show that you want to know a woman who is sitting in front of you. What about her values? Do you have similar life goals? What makes her happy? These and many other questions ought to be present in your chat. So if you are not a very talkative person - think it through.
Tip #5. Pick a nice place
Even if you have met your lady through some single dad dating site, sooner or later, you will have to move your relationship offline. Therefore, it's essential to choose the right place for your first real-life meeting. It should be a location that would pleasantly surprise your date and, at the same time, give you a chance to get to know each other. Never bring your new partner straight into your home - it would be a huge mistake. Better offer her to drink a cup of coffee in a small café and then take a walk in a park.
What do you need to avoid?
Of course, the single dad dating advice we give today won't be comprehensive without mentioning points you should avoid. Following these tips, you will increase your chance to find love.
Tip 1. Don't rush
At this point, please be 100% honest with yourself. The most important question you need to answer long before going out with someone is - are you really ready to start a relationship?
According to single dad dating sites, their male users often rush. This is particularly relevant for those who have just ended relationships. So don't put yourself under pressure - give yourself time. It's not worth the effort if you would rather be somewhere else instead of the trendy Italian restaurant or the café on Friday evening.
Tip 2. Don't buy a dating platform's membership right away
Sure, online dating is a great place to start going out again. However, dating as a single father is a bit different.
You can start slowly: take a look first - don't buy a membership right away. The majority of reliable dating sites allow you to register for free. Fill out your profile, write that you have a kid, and see how female members react. If they are still interested - great, then you can switch to a paid subscription. If not - try another website.
Tip 3. Don't be nervous
Yes, we understand - it seems to be challenging to start dating after a long break. Your worries bring nothing but a headache, though. So what is the point of stressing yourself out?
Dating is like riding a bike: you can't forget it once you have learned. Just remain witty and playful. Do not march with the flashing sign "stepmother wanted" on your head. Don't worry about the date's result. Even if your rendezvous turns out to be a disaster - don't be sad. Later you will be able to laugh about it.
Tip 4. Don't be too idealistic
Finally, you have found someone who makes you feel happy, and you know that your girlfriend feels the same way. However, don't offer her to meet your kids when it's too early yet. No matter how stunning your lady is - we believe there is chemistry between you two. Still: slow down. It's too much stress for children to allow someone to become part of their lives and then let this person go. So be really careful and think twice before doing it.
Tip 5. Don't expect too much
Here we talk not about your relationship with a woman, though. Speaking of single father dating, there will come a day when you will need to introduce your chosen one to your kid. But don't expect too much from this meeting. Remain patient - since your child may react negatively to her at first. After all, this lady is a competitor for the father's attention in his eyes. So, no pressure: initially arrange short meetings. If possible, it ought to be fun activities or joint games on the favorite playground.
Dating as a single dad: FAQ
How do single dads cope with dating?
Without any doubt, the rules of single dads' dating differ from those men without children have. It is, in general, a bit more complicated to find time and energy for a love search. Still, nothing is impossible when you really want it! If you feel ready to start looking for a new partner, then, beyond anything else, you need to get some help. You need to learn to delegate certain household chores to household staff and either find a good nanny or ask your relatives to babysit when you have dates. The rest is up to you and your girlfriend.
How do single dads start dating?
Statistics report that single fathers, in most cases, start dating online. But why? Well, it's easy: you choose a platform, sign up, look around, and send messages to those members you like most. At the same time, this dating opportunity can be lightly integrated into the even toughest schedule ever. Since only you decide when to chat or send a reply to the letter.
Remember: experts advise single dads to use their creativity during online communication and avoid using standard phrases during messaging.
Is it OK for women to start dating a single dad?
If a lady is ready to start a committed relationship - the fact you have a child won't be a problem. It's interesting to know that, for the most part, women prefer dating single dads with daughters. The reason is simple - they find it easy to understand a kid of their own gender. But it doesn't mean it would be seen as an obstacle if you have a boy.
