Dating after divorce for men made easy - 10 dos and don’ts

According to the US statistics centers, in 45 reporting States, the number of divorces has reached 782,038 in 2022. Behind this statistical fact are hidden personal dramas and tragedies. Of course, some people put on beaming faces to keep their tears from falling, but it has actually nothing to do with what they really feel. A divorce is an exceptional situation for everyone involved in it. Neither for the spouses nor for children (if there are any) - this tough period is not something that could be treated lightly.

Life’s been happening, though. Sooner or later, people begin thinking about new relationships. At the same time, the question appears, «Am I ready to date after divorce by now?» Here we need to appeal to statistics once again. For more than 11% of men and 25% of women, the issue that led to separation was the lack of appreciation and the feeling of not being loved anymore. Males, just like females, who took part in this research were ready to describe their emotional state as a crisis. Therefore, the tendency of starting a new love search too soon after the breakup, with the purpose of compensating for their past frustrations, is evident in many cases.

In the article, we want to deal with the various subjects that are considered significant in this regard. Continuing reading the text, you can find out when the idea of getting back into dating after divorce is apt and when it's better to do nothing. Furthermore, with the list of dos and don’ts for men who just «got back on the field», - your new romance is bound to succeed! Seriously, we don't see how you could fail following these essential rules. The only thing left to do now is to let the professionals help you. Sounds interesting, isn't it?

When dating after divorce for a man should begin?

Okay, let’s get to the point. We are going to start with the most important thing. Based on the matters mentioned above, you know that the feeling like you are ready to start seeing other people can be rather deceptive. Still, there are three clear-cut signals that indicate your real openness to a new search.

So, when dating after divorce for a man should begin?

When you do not live in the past

Before asking a beautiful girl from your neighborhood out, you need to make sure that the past does not affect your fresh start. In other words, you need to be completely over it. If you just moved your personal stuff to another apartment, let the lawyers put a stamp on your divorce papers, or announced the separation on your social networks - it might not be enough. The past is not really behind as long as you continue thinking about the problems you’ve had as a couple, looking through the photos of your ex, spying on her posts on the Internet. Guilty? No reason to worry - you just need some more time. When to start dating after divorce then? Move at your own pace. Let yourself get through the pain of a previous relationship to avoid misunderstandings in a new one.

When you feel independent and self-sufficient

You have to realize that the secret of happiness is to live in the moment. Only when you are enjoying your daily routine as a single, nothing stands in the way of starting a new romance. And, it also means you are definitely ready for the first date after divorce. Such an attitude may be noticed, first of all, on your emotional freedom. When you find yourself reacting quietly in talks about your past. On the other hand, another sign of self-sufficiency you have achieved - hobbies. Whenever you begin to fill the spare time with typical man’s activities, such as motorcycling or fishing - you are finally ready.

When you have new plans for the future

If you already see challenges, goals, and dreams that have nothing to do with your previous life - congratulations, your first date surely won’t be too soon after divorce. Realizing that your future plans are no longer dominated by old ambitions, probably not even perfectly yours, indicates that you are ready to move on. Only if you are willing to share exciting adventures and open your heart towards new love - make the last step into the new era of happiness.

Tips for Dating After Divorce

As we have already noted, in most cases, men are not ready to take a new committed relationship experience just after the separation process. Some day, however, you will definitely wake up with the feeling that your heart is not heavy anymore. Take a big, deep breath and remember this moment, because your life is about to change. What to do next? How to start dating again after divorce? Check out our 10 essential dos and don’ts in this regard.

1. Have realistic expectations as to what new romance may turn out to be

Making choices, sometimes not really the best ones, is part of life. It’s not easy, but you need to accept any of them, learn lessons, and move forward. We are trying to say here that no one could guarantee you a successful outcome of a future relationship. Of course, you may meet the woman of your dreams at the first attempt. Still, the likelihood of getting the opposite result is also high. So you do not have to give up after the first failed try.

We have consciously decided to begin this list of dating after divorce tips with this aspect since it’s almost the most important one. Experts say, «The first romance after separation can last forever. If not - the point is that you have found out what you like and what is absolutely unacceptable.»

2. Make up your mind what characteristics of a future partner are critical to you

Getting back to women dating after divorce, you need to create a portrait of your perfect partner. How does she need to look like? Tall or petite, curvy or thin? Do you see your ideal lady blonde or brunette?

The same goes for the character-oriented traits. You can even make a list of the qualities that are vital, in your opinion. Still, keep it simple, don’t ask for too much. Our advice is to stop on a maximum of five characteristics. Not less important is never to compare anyone you want to date to your ex-wife.

3. Try to understand what went wrong in the relationship with your ex-spouse

Psychologists advise all people who have a divorce experience in the background to turn back and analyze the mistakes they have made during the marriage. Quite often, a parallel could be drawn between previous and current problems.

When the issues are clear, try to work on yourself. If necessary, you may also need to be serviced by a professional.

If you like to figure it all out by yourself how to meet women after divorce and make things work, these books are an absolute must-read: Gary Chapman "The five love languages", John Grey "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus", Harville Hendrix "Getting the love you want.»

4. Be honest: you’re not the only one with a past

Do not try to hide your past, neither online nor at a face-to-face meeting. Even if you are a single father with teenage children - sooner or later, but the truth always comes out. Be honest, talking about your values, view of the world. Your sincerity is the key to future happiness since your potential partner has an opportunity to get to know you from the very beginning.

5. Do not rush with getting acquainted with children

Dating after divorce with kids is actually even more challenging. Since they are usually the ones who need more time to recover fully from the parents' separation.

Therefore, meeting with a new father’s girlfriend right away can make the situation worse. First of all, children, in this case, may start having fear of losing you as a parent. In their eyes, your partner might be seen as someone who wants to steal your attention and love. Still, it all depends on your attitude and kids’ age. Psychologists say that toddlers are more likely to accept such a situation with an open heart, while teenagers usually are at sea. The other thing that you need to keep in mind is how fast children get attached to someone kind and caring. So if they really like your girlfriend and she suddenly disappears - it won’t be good for their mental state too.

6. Do not say bad words or gossip about your ex-wife

Er, well, you were a husband of this lady. It’s just ugly when you are dragging her name through the mud. Even if she was not the woman of your dreams or even has cheated on you - save your face and don’t get too emotional. Trust us, no female could let it go in one ear and out the other. The next thought your girlfriend definitely gets is, «Wow, if something goes wrong, he will surely be gossiping about me as well as about his ex-wife.»

7. Get out of your comfort zone

A new relationship, in particular with regard to dating after divorce in your 30s, is about getting out of the comfort zone. It’s not only about the circumstances, though. You need to change as much in your life as possible. The easiest way to begin is … visit the barbershop! Even if it sounds a bit lady-style, but this kind of therapy helps men too. Changing the way you look, buying new clothes, trying out activities you haven’t tried yet - it all will make a whole new person out of you. The person that seduces eyes and steals hearts.

8. Do not take that too seriously

Each time when you have a rendezvous, don’t take it too seriously. It’s not a job interview or Queen Elizabeth’s tea party - relax. You can feel free to contradict us anytime you like and say that dating after divorce at 40 is not something to have fun only. Still, you don’t need to examine your potential girlfriend with thousands of questions - it will certainly make her feel uncomfortable. Be friendly and nice, show your sense of humor - nothing but this strategy may lead you to success.

9. Test different types of dating

Modern matchmaking doesn’t end at speed-dating or getting acquainted through common friends. Nowadays, more and more people are searching for love on the Internet. Why don’t you want to try it too?

On the world wide web, you can find services for all tastes: online flirting apps, casual dating websites, marriage brokers specialized in bringing together men and women for serious relationships, and much more. Just think about it: you have a chance to find your happiness without even getting out of bed! By the way, in this case, the number of females you can meet is not limited to your local ones. International dating platforms offer Western men to get to know ladies from all over the world. The greatest attention usually receives real Russian brides, however for example - Ukrainian brides are just as good as they are.

10. Always trust your intuition

Like we’ve mentioned before, no one can guarantee that your very first dating experience will be positive. Some people try to make seen the best version of themselves, but not the real one. So, you really need to be careful, especially if dating after divorce with children is exactly your case since their destiny is in your hands too.

The rules here are simple: trust your gut and don’t be afraid to speak your mind. It’s also really not a problem if you end the date earlier, noticing that such a lady is not your soulmate.

Bottomline

In sum, we want to remind you that rushing with dating after divorce is never a good idea. In most cases, such a desperate search with falling in love head over heels just after the breakup leads only to further disappointments. A new girlfriend can’t fill the emptiness of your soul, so you need to work on yourself before daring to start again. However, in due time, following the advice of this article, you will surely feel happy and in love again! We, on our part, wish you good luck!